Life is priceless. Each human being is only granted a short time on this earth, and so few people are truly grateful for the life they are lucky enough to have. July 28, 2013 was a day that I will never forget. I slept in late that morning, and I woke up to my mom opening my door. She told me that she had seen a few worrying statuses on Facebook about AJ Betts, a wonderful friend of mine who I shared a French class with. My mom hugged me close, and left me to process the information. It did not take long for the grief-stricken statuses to begin, and as I read, I began to piece together what had happened, and what I learned had broken my heart. AJ had committed suicide.

I remember my girlfriend coming over that day, and the two of us sitting in silence, with neither of us knowing what to say. AJ seemed happy so often. He was involved in show choir, choir, and French. The two of us would gush over “Glee,” and he would draw pictures of the gay couple on the show, dubbed “Klaine.” AJ seemed to always be smiling, but there was a part of him that he did not show to the world; the part of him that was hurting. AJ was bullied by peers because he was gay, had a cleft lip, and was multiracial. Although I spoke with him practically every day of my sophomore year, I did not know that he was treated badly by people our own age. It was not something I often heard him talk about in the French class we shared.

AJ was the first friend I lost to suicide, but I fear that he was not my last. The fact that one in four adults suffer from a diagnosable mental illness saddens me. People hurt in silence, believing that the hurt is normal or that they deserve to feel this way. I’m here to say that no one should live their life in pain. Mental health is something that has been largely overlooked for far too long. Depression can plague even the happiest of people.

Unlike a physical illness, we cannot look at someone’s appearance to determine whether or not they are hurting. As a society, we tend to judge people quickly, and mental illnesses are sometimes met with disbelief: “You couldn’t get out of bed today? That’s not even a challenge,” or “Why can’t you just be happy?” Individuals with mental illnesses cannot choose to just “be happy” or “get better.” Depression, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder and bipolar disorder are all important mental illnesses that the general public does not know nearly enough about.

I challenge all of us to think more seriously about mental health, and to be able to recognize it better in ourselves and others. I want to tell everyone struggling that they are not alone. Someone in the world truly cares about you, and your disappearance would leave a void in their lives. Stay strong, and know that things will get better. Lean on friends for support, get professional help if you are able to do so. No problem is “too small” to talk to somebody about. No one should feel as though they do not have the strength to wake up tomorrow, and believe that this is normal. You deserve to feel better. You are enough. You are loved.