Tales Of A High School Fangirl

Tales Of A High School Fangirl

Before You Exit, I'm looking at you.

One summer when I was 14, I boarded my favorite band's tour bus two nights in a row.

After concerts in New Jersey and New York City, my friend Mackenzie and I followed them to the bus where they played some music, hung out with us, took pictures with us, and got the chance to unwind after a show. At the time, it was undeniably the best thing that ever happened to me. And the obsession with this band continued.

Last week, pop band Before You Exit released their latest single "Strangers," and a million memories came rushing back to me. Almost all of my time in high school was spent planning my time around the boys in this band and bands just like it. I thought of endless concerts, waiting in line for hours to meet members, bus parties, Twitter interactions, driving for hours sometimes to get to shows, and most importantly, starting a YouTube channel with my friends so we would have the chance to conduct interviews.

I was the ultimate fangirl. There was no question.

From 2013-2015, a baby-faced version of myself, with braces I might add, was the quintessential ardent admirer of these boys. Here's a picture of me with Before You Exit in May 2013, just so you get a nice visual.

These are the tales of a high school fangirl.

The first time I went to a Before You Exit show, it was an accident. I was being dragged to The Stone Pony in Asbury Park, NJ to see a local band open up for a plethora of others. I bought a $12 ticket and Googled a few of the bands who were also scheduled to play that night. Coming across Before You Exit’s YouTube channel, I started to get excited to see them. The three brothers, Connor , Riley , and Toby McDonough, conjured up all my Jonas Brothers nostalgia. They were teenage boys with cute faces and talent! And the youngest one, Toby, was my age!

The day of the show I lined up outside the venue with my friends and some band members passed by us, making conversation with fans in the line. At this point in my life, the only band I had ever loved was One Direction. And Lord knows I will never be able to hang out with One Direction before a show outside the venue. So when Toby McDonough passed by us in line and said hi, I was freaking out. Little did I know in 5 months or so I would be laughing at him and calling him a dork on their tour bus.

The time I literally created a YouTube channel, blog, and professional email account with my friends Molly and Mackenzie so we could interview them at a benefit concert. We had no idea what we were doing but it was so fun. It was also a Halloween themed concert, so yes, I am dressed up in a Supergirl costume. Watch the video if you dare…

And the times we boarded the bus and got to hang out with them. I remember the candy drawer so specifically. Under the seats of one of the couches on the bus, a drawer pulled out to reveal all the candy their fans brought them on tour. Riley passed around Sour Patch Kids and I asked him to pick me out a red one because those were the only ones that I liked. He looked at me like I was absolutely crazy, and laughed. “You’re serious?” he asked. “Dead serious,” I replied. And he gave me a red one.

The little moments like that which I got to share with the members of these bands made every experience I had with them so special. Some may find it funny, but I still cherish these memories and the brief intimacies because I’m so grateful they made time to do that sort of thing with their fans.

It didn't even stop at Before You Exit. I was obsessed with every band that I saw or knew of as a result of them. Paradise Fears, Allstar Weekend Hollywood Ending, Action Item, and more. It was like an infection, except I didn't want to make it go away. I attended 13 concerts in 2013, at least one every month. It was the absurdity of it all that I thrived off of.

I love looking at the pictures, even though my face is cringe-worthy. I love thinking about all the memories because I know that my time wasn’t wasted. I’ll never regret it. And I’ll still buy Strangers on iTunes. You should, too.

Cover Image Credit: Annie Condodina

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To That Guy

"You are my Love from the Star and I was your love sent from Above"


          Did you know my life was better without you in it? Way back before I even met you? But it was the best when you came unexpectedly. I can’t say that you are the perfect guy because there is no such thing as that. But I appreciate on how you made yourself perfect for me. The first time you laid your eyes on me I was like “woah, that’s the kind of look  I want to see for the rest of my life.” Our first meet was not that memorable, it was in a certain mall and we don’t have that much time because you are flying back to your country. But you know what? It’s not being memorable or what, it is being with the person who stood by beside you.

          I was scared the moment you left my side that day, but it was the scariest when you ask me to be yours and have this thing we called “Long Distance Relationship”. I don’t know what to say or to react that time, I was speechless but part of me was happy, I mean, isn’t that the best feeling in the whole world? When a guy came into your life and accepted the whole of you? Being with you was indeed a ride of a roller coaster. We’ve got our ups and downs, fights and arguments and sweet and bitter love just what like normal couples do. I always told you how blessed I am to meet someone like you. You are my love from the star and I was your love sent from above. We always make God as the center of our relationship. And you always say, “for this relationship to work we just need to be honest and be loyal to each other.” For a moment there, I thought “us” would actually work until the end.

         It’s been how many months since we had our last conversations as a couple right? I know I’ve been really busy this past few days and it’s been a tough fight between the two of us. We tried and fought for the love we thought we had, but things just don’t end the way we expected it to be. I am not writing this to tell everybody the whole story of us instead, I am writing this because for those months that we’ve been together I’ve kept you a secret from everyone. You may call this too late, but I am here now to show the world how great of a guy are you and how thankful I am.

          You are the most effort guy I had ever encountered. Imagine? Sending me those stuffs every month just to remind me that I am loved was the best part of you. Writing a book for me was the most incredible thing you ever did and going home just to see me was the perfect. But I lost all of that. We may lose the relationship we had but I want to thank you for saving our friendship. Can ex-lovers be friends? We’ll see.

          This last gift you sent hit me hard. Your note says “I know you will see a lot of girls holding flowers, chocolates and bears everywhere and I am not there for you to experience it, so I’m sending this instead. I just want to say sorry and thank you. Sorry for the pain I’ve caused and thank you for everything. Moments with you was irreplaceable. I know that how happy we are right now, you and I will always carry a piece of each other, let it be known that we found home in each other’s warmth and you’ll always have a piece within me. You deserve the best and nothing less.” That note made me realize how lucky I am. You are a single lesson, but a lot was learned, what we had made me who I am today, and I am thankful. To that guy who was always there for me, you may not have my heart, but I want you to know that you always have my full support. See you again soon, my friend.

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Cover Image Credit: Pezibear-Pixabay.com

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