Finding someone to be there for you, hug you when times get rough, kiss you goodnight, and just be that special someone who will always have your back is hard as it is, but losing them is even harder. I would know since I had this experience around a year ago. This person was very special to me and I feel that it is appropriate to tell my story and how I have become a better person since the breakup.

We all remember our first love! That person you lay eyes on and you feel an instant connection with. That is what I felt with my ex. The story starts back when I was a Freshman at my first college before I transferred to Marquette. (I will not be saying the name of the college or the name of the person just out of respect).

I knew about this person, heard through friends that he was single, and I thought he was cute. One night I was on Instagram and he started to like my photos. I did the same thing back, and before you know it we started texting. The next thing you know, we went on a couple of dates and made it official.

I feel hard and fast. I mean, it was my first love! The chemistry was there, and it just felt natural to me. I felt that this person was meant to be in my life. I finally felt that the plants had aligned and that everything was right in my life. Turns out that was not the case.

Second semester came around and before you know it things took a turn for the worse. I felt that the connection we once had was starting to drift away. He was involved in track and field so during this time of the year it would get busy for him. I knew that going into this, and I made sure that I attended as many meets as I could to make sure he knew I was there to support him. Sadly, it was not enough.

Track season picked up, and our relationship did not. Every day I felt as if I was holding on by a thread, and that I was walking on eggshells. I did everything I could to prevent the end, but it did not work.

The relationship ended the day after Spring Break. He came over to my dorm and I could see the look in his eyes and I knew something was up. Once he sat me down and gave me the whole, “It’s not you, it’s me speech,” I knew it was over. He felt horrible, but he said he wanted to be single.

Once he said that I felt that I was a burden to him and that this relationship should have never happened. I was heartbroken and devastated and didn’t know where to turn.

Fast forward to the summer of 2016. I had already applied to transfer to Marquette, had my classes picked out and was ready to roll. The people around me thought that I had picked up the pieces and had my life put back together. Sadly, on the inside, it was not the same story.

At this point, I deleted all my social media because I did not want to see any photos of him, and I also wanted to take some time off to do some inner reflection as well. Some days were easy, some were hard. It was a vicious cycle of, what did I do wrong? Could I have saved it? Turns out the answer is no.

Even though I left my former college with a broken heart and nowhere to turn, it made me really take a deeper look inward. Since that relationship, I feel that I have become a stronger person and have been able to help others that have gone through the same situation.

To the ex that broke my heart, if you would ever read this, I want to thank you. First, I want to thank you for all the fun times that we had together and all the great memories we made. Secondly, I want to say even though I was mad at the time I understand what you did.

You were not ready for serious relationship, and I was. I might have gone in too fast, which I understand now, but you made me learn so much more about myself and to me, that is the best thing someone can do.

So, my final words on this matter will go as such: To my past, I thank you for teaching me and making me look inward, for my future, I welcome you with open arms and accept whatever will come my way.