how to work on yourself

You Should Take Breaks From Friendships, Too, Especially When You Need To Work On Yourself

It's one of the healthiest things you can do for your life, no diet or exercise necessary.

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You might be thinking "f*ck that, a friend is only a friend if they never leave," well then yes you would be correct, but sometimes it's deeper than that, and you don't know it until you're in it.

Of course, if you go through an unfortunate loss or something monumentally tragic occurs, that friend should be at your front door. No questions asked. But sometimes, people need space for themselves. It does not have to do with you. Taking time to seek solitude and reconnect with your inner peace is not selfish. You are not a bad friend. You are human.

These "breaks" could be a day, a week, four months, maybe two years. That's something only time can tell. The key to this idea is one thing, be it very simple and yet very difficult. Kindness.

It is very, very difficult for someone in your life to not take it personally when you don't want to be around them, whether it be you no longer text one another good morning, or you just flat out have no contact for this time period. You have to be sure your exit is filled with love, loyalty, and kindness. Make it graceful, make it meaningful. You care about this person as they do you, and you need them just as much. Let them know. Let them know right now.

You are doing this to better yourself, which in turn will improve those around you.

However, if the exit is anything but kind, you could have just lost that bond for the rest of your life.

I haven't heard my dad's voice in almost four years, but I can still hear him preaching this one thought, "People will never forget how you made them feel." It gives me chills and brings me comfort all at the same damn time.

Listen, life can be unfortunate. If I'm weighing my life, the scale would definitely favor the unfortunate side significantly more than the fortunate side, but I am not bitter over it. I have acquired such an appreciation for any "good" in my life, that it actually takes up too much of my time, but I'm not changing it. If someone is making you feel good, tell them. No one is going to get annoyed to know that they are cared about.

This is certainly a scary thing that I pray you never have to decide to do, but I'm always first to drop some real-life situations on a perfectly nice day.

Being that I'm speaking of this from an intensely deep part of my current personal life, the only way I could describe what I've learned are by the quote below. These are words I will forever agonize over the fact that they spilled out of another individual's mouth before my mind could even figure out how to say it.

"That is the saddest part when you lose someone you love — that person keeps changing. And later you wonder... is this the same person I lost?" — Amy Tan, "The Kitchen God's Wife"

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it

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Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

Cover Image Credit: wordpress.com

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Sandra Bullock Is More Than Just The Lady From Bird Box

How dare you call her just the lady...?

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Sandra Bullock is the lead actress of the new Netflix movie Bird Box. This movie has received so many good reviews. Also, there has been memes on social media about the movie. It's become very popular, so even people who haven't seen the movie know about the movie. For example, a meme would say:


Or



However, there was this one disrespectful tweet.


This generation does not know who Sandra Bullock is. This is wrong because Sandra Bullock amazing. People watched Bird Box and discovered who Sandra Bullock was. I watched Bird Box because of Sandra Bullock. She is the reason why I had a great childhood. Let's not forget about all the movies that made her famous. There's many: A Time to Kill, Hope Floats, Practical Magic, Miss Congeniality, Two Weeks Notice, Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous, The Proposal (one of my favorite movies), The Blind Side, The Heat, Gravity, and Ocean's 8.

All these movies are the best of the best and this generation needs to watch these movies to realize that Sandra Bullock isn't just the lady from Bird Box. She is an extraordinary actress and human being, and her greatness should be recognized. Period.

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