It takes a village to raise a child is a phrase we have all heard in our lifetime. In days gone past, I’ve shared numerous stories with my friends of tales of a young Nina. A rambunctious Nina who liked to push the boundaries and do what kids do best. But the reason why Nina is the upstanding citizen she is today (or I at least like to think so) is that when I pushed the boundaries, the boundaries pushed back. My boundaries started with my nuclear family: my three elder sisters who believe they are all my mother, collectively my sis mums/moms.

My parents, my mum/mom and dad and later just my mum/mom. And our extended family which included, aunts, uncles, friends, neighbors and anyone who was basically friendly or knew my mom or dad. You see the first seven years of my life, I grew up in Sierra Leone. I could do nothing in public and have it not get back to my parents. In fact, I remember vividly doing something naughty (I attempted to walk home alone age 4/5 from school) in the streets of Freetown and before I got home, my dad was waiting for me along with a butt whooping.

Now, no family members were present. It was just around our community approximately three miles from my home. But a concerned citizen, who recognized me, called ahead to notify my parents that I had left school alone and was heading home by myself. In days gone by the community was so strong that people looked out for one another. Now don’t get me wrong, this sort of comradery still exists.

Being a transplant, I know several families that have ties to my neighborhood, Roswell, GA that spans decades - no, centuries. They are well known and well liked. In fact, when their older children have done something wrong, bordering illegal but truly just what kids do, when they are discovering themselves and experimenting, instead of being thrown in jail when caught, even when caught by the law, they have been escorted home for their parents to deal with. And deal with them they did. Set them on what we would say the straight and narrow. However, being an immigrant myself, and often extremely homesick, I have pondered of days gone by and wondered why in today's world, things are so different.

Realizing that many of us are a transplant. Some national transplants. Others international transplant. And in a nation where we all come from all over the nation, nay all over the world, is it possible for that age-old adage of “village” to remain true. Absolutely. I truly believe that the eradication of community and the wear on tear on the “village” is what is missing today from our society. It’s the reason why nowadays when people see children especially doing something wrong, their first instinct is self-preservation and rightly so.

In days gone by you would know that kid, the kids family and everyone in between. Now with all the negative press your first instinct is to think will this kid or young adult retaliates in some way for me a stranger reprimanding them. It’s one of the reason’s I love “what would you do so much”. So here is my guide as an immigrant to anywhere in the world to building your village:

Get to know the who’s who and the what’s what of your region and area.

Now that doesn’t mean looking for the famous or the influential. But it could be as simple as volunteering in your child’s school. Most of the time, the teachers have been there for some time. The members of the PTA have been there for some time. And will have quite a bit of knowledge in their head about the community around you

Visit the historical regions of your community.

This will give you a sense of the region you are in. What tools and resources are at your disposal or repertoire

Become involved

Intentionally become involved. Volunteer at your child’s school, your local church, Boys and Girls of America, or any charitable foundation that interests you.

Go to events especially community events that match where you are in life.

For example, my church has intentional community events that allow you to match to other singles if you are single, couples if you’re a couple, couples with children if you’re a couple with children, golden years-er if you are in your golden years and so on. Our neighborhood also throws loads of child-friendly, adult-friendly events throughout the year.

Get to know those in your neighborhood.

I’ll be honest, this year especially I’ve been fortunate to find ladies in my neighborhood, my daughter's school, and my established friends. All have become and continue to become a part of my village. I can call on them when I need help with picking up my daughter or simply just a friendly ear. Or even just company.

Whatever your circumstance building your village is necessary for restoring the fabric of community throughout the world so do your part hehe.

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