"Beware of those who continuously absorb light, yet are unwilling to emit it."
-Harmata
Have you ever had that one friend who always seems to drain you more than they fill you up? As if all they do is talk about themselves, their problems, or simply never seem to put you as high of a priority?
I can't tell you how many friends I have met like that, but I can tell you that counting all of my fingers would hardly scratch the surface...
You see, the hardest thing about these friends is that even though we walk away more exhausted and depleted than before, we still make the time to see them. Martyring our own selves in order to bring our taking friends a break.
As if it is our civic duty to society.
As if they are in turn providing us with a service because we are able to give so much of ourselves to someone in need. But at what cost?
I like to refer to this situation as the "taker phenomenon" that so commonly occurs within our "taker society".
It is true, that we all at some point in our lives will take more from our friends than we can give.
But I believe that there are certain individuals who will always receive more than they provide.
These "takers" as I like to call them, come by their actions honestly. They are truly in need of advice, time, love, etc. and I am so incredibly willing to give them all that they need. Because I never want them to feel as I have felt.
But what I have learned in times of my own crisis, is that I cannot continue to give more to others than to myself. And neither should you.
We as a society are either terrified of becoming selfish or set it as an extraneous goal. As if there is no in-between. But there is.
Over a year ago I made a promise to stop putting others above myself and to let go of the friends that would never give as I gave to them. And I did so honestly because I could not live in a world filled with the frustrations of denial from people that could never give as I needed.
People that I once believed were the greatest lights in my life but were honestly some of my greatest detriments.
I still believe that they are incredible individuals full of purpose and opportunity for the world, but they can no longer be so for me.
Perhaps there is someone in your life that you want more from, but know that they can never deliver despite your compromises and fears of losing their presence.
But your purpose in life can only be fulfilled if you too have the opportunity to absorb light.
And not everyone will give you that opportunity.
I'm not saying that you should start a revolution and exile every individual who uses you. Some of those people might just be impossible to let go of for a variety of reasons.
But if you do not take the time to love yourself and to choose yourself sometimes over ANYONE else, you will emit more light than you absorb and eventually burn out.
By choosing to remove certain individuals from my life, I was given the incredible opportunity to not only choose myself, but also choose individuals who were much more "equal" in friendship. And while it was very hard to accept help at first, I cannot express to you how incredibly thankful I am for them or even for the peace, I give myself.
So choose you over anyone else.
Over and over again. And never allow anyone else to take more from you than you can afford. You are too full of life to be half-loved in a taker's society and your light should always burn brighter within than within the chest of another.