7 Things I Wish I Could Tell My Younger Self About How Amazing Life Is Going To Get
If only I knew the things I know now.
We always find ourselves saying "I wish I knew this when I was younger" and "If only I knew the things I know now when I was younger," and a lot of people make the argument that if we had known what we know now, things wouldn't be the same.
But sometimes we just want to go back in time as ourselves and tell the younger version of us what the future is like — how that test you were so worried about doesn't even matter now and how that person you liked and thought about constantly doesn't even pop into your mind.
After all, it would have saved myself so many headaches and so much energy. If I had just had a conversation of comfort with the present version of me back then, it would have made life a little easier.
1. Your testing anxiety is not a flaw.
I've known I have testing anxiety since first grade when test day came and all of a sudden my heart started to beat faster, I felt my head get hot, and I'd fidget in my seat. I glanced at other kids beside me, the teacher, and the clock. I got so scared that I wouldn't finish or that I'd put down all the wrong answers and cried every single time there was a test. It got so bad that my mom had to come in one time and be beside me while I took a test.... And I may have broken a pencil from how stressed I was.
Anyways, I thought I was the odd one that stuck out in class because I was the only one that had anxiety this bad during tests, and I thought I wasn't normal. I told my mom this and she said, "Don't ever say that because you are perfect, and I wouldn't have you any other way." (Thanks, Mom). But somewhere deep inside me, I also knew that this had to be a blessing in disguise or that I couldn't possibly be the only one terrified of ink on paper.
It turns out that this is actually kind of common in some kids and sometimes the whole test needs to be thrown away because of how many tears and other bodily fluids end up on them - shoutout to standardized testing! But, I came to realize that I wasn't alone after all and that it was something that I grew to control. While it doesn't seem like it will ever go away, I have the ability to understand, relate, and empathize with people who have testing anxiety.
2. You are not going to be like anyone else because you are your own person, so stop beating yourself up over it.
In high school, I was ridiculously obsessed with having a good face of makeup, having perfect grades like some of my friends, and being good at every subject. It was the most obsessive I've ever been in my life. I critiqued myself on everything from how my make-up looked to how well or bad I was doing in certain subjects like math (newsflash: algebra, and anything relating to it, is not for me).
I was so frustrated with myself for not being like other people that it weighed me down to rock bottom. Granted, I wouldn't be who I am if it wasn't for that because I learned how to love myself. I realized that being myself was more than enough, that I shouldn't have to prove my own worth to myself by trying to be other people.
3. The trials you face now will make you smarter and wiser.
This is a really cliche one, but also a really important one. I used to hear this and think, "Well, yeah, obviously every new moment and situation is a lesson." But I never actually applied it to myself. I felt like I was always going the opposite way everyone else was going in life, and I always thought I was wrong about everything when I failed at something. Whenever I made a decision, I always dwelled on it, asking myself, "Was that the right thing? Did I do this right?" Life doesn't give you a manual on how to navigate it "correctly." We figure life out as we go, and the trials we face help us learn and grow into ourselves.
4. You do not owe a justification to everyone who questions you.
If I had a dollar for every time I was in a situation where I was justifying myself to people who didn't deserve it, let's just say I'd be able to buy Starbucks every day for a very, very long time. I'm not the best when it comes to confrontation, even more so when someone tries to tell me I'm wrong when I know what my intentions were.
People go against your grain; they try to make you feel like the bad person so they can reap the benefits of feeling better about themselves. People will victimize themselves or make up lies just to get a reaction.
As long as you know your intentions, and understand and take responsibility for them, you don't owe anyone a justification for living your life and doing what you feel is right.
5. You are not for everyone, and not everyone is for you.
In college, you meet more new people than ever before, and not everyone that you meet is going to like you - that goes for anytime in life. These past two years in college have been slowly opening my eyes to see this, and I've recently been learning how to let it go when I know someone doesn't like me for whatever reason.
I may be known as quiet and focused to some, but others may see my not-so-serious side. Some may find me boring while others find me annoying.
People are not always going to like you, and as harsh as that is, I needed to learn to accept that. I needed to learn that not everyone is meant for me to like or keep in my life, and the same goes for me in other people's lives. Some people are better to keep and know at a distance rather than up close and personal.
I am not going to dilute my personality to fit another person's taste.
6. The things you want may not be the things you need and vice versa.
We've all been told at least once, "You don't need that" when we say we want something, whether it's clothes, a toy, food, makeup, or a vacation.
I look back on how God took people out of my life, and at other times, I wondered why He let others into my life who hurt me, but now I understand. The people in your life at a certain time may not be the people you need forever, while the people you may not want in your life at a certain time might be the people you need. As Fran Drescher once said, "Sometimes people come into your life for a season and other times for a lifetime."
This doesn't just go for people; this also goes for the situations we find ourselves in and why they happen to us. Nothing that we go through is for nothing.
7. You’re a badass, and don’t let anybody else tell you otherwise.
I did not work on myself for that long, and I am still sometimes continuing to let other people's words and actions bring me down. You have the power to be your worst critic, making you your biggest investment. I've faced my own trials and tribulations, and right now I'm proud to say that I'm standing on my own two feet, getting a degree in something I love. I live as myself and don't abide by anyone's suggestions of what I should be, and I won't apologize for that. If the criticism isn't constructive or beneficial, it's not needed. I finally understood that I am the only one going through life as myself; I should not be giving that much power of persuasion to people who can be so draining.
We need the not-so-great moments in life to grow, but sometimes we want to just skip ahead a few years to see where we land. Everything takes time ,and eventually, we come to understand and see why we went through the things we did.
