Wikipedia
1. “Firmly grasp it in your hand."
2. “Ha ha ha ha, it's a giraffe."
3. “CHOCOLATE!!!!"
4. “Well, it's no secret that the best thing about a secret is secretly telling someone your secret, thereby, secretly adding another secret to their secret collection of secret, secretly."
5. “Do you smell it? That smell, the kind of smelly smell. A smelly smell that smells... smelly."
6. “Patrick, I don't think Wumbo is a real word." "Come on. You know, I wumbo, you wumbo, he/she/me wumbo. Wombology, the study of wumbo! It's first grade SpongeBob!"
7. "I don't get it. I made my house a mess, which was making it clean, which made Squidward clean my yard, but that really means he's messing it up. But the opposite of clean is filth, which means filth is clean, that means Squidward is really making my yard a wreck, but I normally wreck my own yard which means, Squidward is being the opposite of Squidward which means he's SpongeBob!"
8. “Is Mayonnaise an instrument?"
9. “F is for fire that burns down the whole town, U is for Uranium…bombs! N is for no survivors!"
10. “You don't need a license to drive a sandwich."
11. “The best time to wear a striped sweater…is all the time."
12. “Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died… the end."
13. “My leg!"
14. “It took three days to make that potato salad…three days!!!"
15. “Can I be excused for the rest of my life?"
16. "Can I get some extra salt?"
“We're all out."
“Could you check?"
“…No."
17. "Patrick, you're a genius!"
"Yeah, I get called that a lot."
"What? A genius?"
"No, Patrick."
18. "Oh, these aren't homemade. They were made in a factory... a bomb factory. They're bombs."
19. “You just CAN'T WAIT for me to die, can you?"
20. “Do instruments of torture count?"
21. “Hello, we're with the pet hospital down the street, and I understand you have a dying animal on the premises."
22. “Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24… 25!"
23. “We should take Bikini Bottom and push it somewhere else!"
24. "Is this the Krusty Krab?"
"No! This is Patrick!"
25. “The Krusty Krab pizza is the pizza for you and me."
26. “This is a load of barnacles…"
27. “Now he's gonna kick my butt!"
28. "This is not your average, everyday darkness. This is... ADVANCED darkness."
29. “Too bad SpongeBob isn't here to enjoy SpongeBob not being here."
30. “Remember, licking doorknobs is illegal on other planets."
31. “I'm not just ready, I'm ready Freddy!"
“It's Larry…"
32. “I'll have you know that I stubbed my toe last week and only cried for 20 minutes."
33. “Hey Patrick what am I now?"
"Uh...stupid?"
“No! I'm Texas!"
"What's the difference?"
34. "Patrick, don't you have to be stupid somewhere else?"
“Not until four."
35. “Are you Squidward now? ... That's okay, take your time."
36. “Who are you people?!"
37. “Squidward that's not the peace treaty, that's a copy of the peace treaty."
38. "What's your name, son?"
"Name? Uhh, beef wellington."
"No, your name."
"Uhh, fork on the left?"
39. "Ravioli Ravioli, give me the formuoli."
40. “Are you open?"
"Read the sign..."
“...l'll have a Krabby Patty Deluxe and some double chili kelp fries."
41. “HAHAHAHA THAT GUY GOT HIT IN THE HEAD WITH A COCONUT HAHAHA."
42. “My sandwich tastes like a fried boot."
“My sandwich is a fried boot!"
43. “Too bad that didn't kill me."
