Fall Is Bittersweet
Fall is my favorite season by far. I think it always has been.
There is so much to love about the season from the food to the changing leaves to the fall activities. I love going to corn mazes, riding hayrides, drinking apple cider and hot chocolate, and the weather. I love watching the leaves change color. It's so beautiful.
You get the picture. I love fall.
Despite this, a lot has happened in this season that it's the greatest.
My grandmother, mother, and father all passed away in this season. Not all the same year, but they were all in the same season. I thought about it the other day, and I was like, wow. A lot has happened in my life that has happened during the fall.
Every person that has past away has hit me in different ways as they were all connected to me in one way or another. They were hard in their own ways. While it has been time since they all passed, and I have healed, I still miss them so much. When I watch a certain show like M.A.S.H and westerns, I think of my father while soap operas and shows like 'This Is Us' and 'Little House And the Prairie' remind me of my mother. When something happens in my life, big or small, I want to call my mother. I'm a teacher just like mother. I would love to get her advice on some things. My father grew up in the sixties. While I heard some stories growing up, I never truly appreciated them the way that I would now. My grandmother was an amazing cook. A talent that I wish was passed down to myself. Every holiday, we would cook something for her, and bring it down to her. We would get her presents for both Christmas and her birthday since they were close together.
Remembering all the traditions that we had. For example, we would set up the Christmas tree the day after Thanksgiving. Every year, my parents would get me and my brother an ornament every single year to add to the tree. My parents would also get one for themselves as well. My parents would come to as much events that they could that their children were in, and we were in a lot of stuff like sports, band, and choir.
I miss them so much. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't. Most days are good, but there are some days that are hard and that I miss them more than other days. While it is hard, it makes it easier knowing that I will see them again one day. I look forward to that day.
Grief is different every single person. It's not the same for everyone. People have to go through their own process of how they deal with someone they knew had passed. I know that I did. My grief was even different depending on the person that I had lost.
Healing does take time.
I honestly could not have done this without my relationship with God. I also could not have done this without the people in my life. The people in my life have always been there for me, and God has always been in my corner no matter what.
To whoever is reading this, I want you to know that you are not alone.