There are days where I wake up and feel grey. Grey meaning I feel gloomy, like a bother, or even worthless. The worst part about feeling like this is that there are no triggers. I just wake up this way. At first, I thought maybe going back to sleep would help me feel better. However, I still wake up feeling bad, sometimes even worse like I'm stuck in a horrific loop.
As the day goes on and my dark cloud follows me, I try to think of the highlights in my life: what I'm succeeding in, who I'm succeeding with, and my future. But nothing works. The dark cloud gets darker and the later it gets, the more I can hear thunder.
You know when it's pouring outside and nothing motivates you? All you want to do is lay in bed and listen to the sound of the storm? Imagine listening to your inner thoughts telling you that nothing matters anymore instead of listening to the storms. The inner thoughts don't motivate you to be a better you.
They motivate you to give up. They tell you that the world is against you. They yell at you just to tell you that no one even wants you here. They scream at you to close your eyes and feel nothing.
So when I tell you that today is an off day, nothing you say to me will fix anything. I can't hear you over these inner thoughts.
Stop telling your friends to "be happy," "it will pass and tomorrow will be a better day," "just take a nap," or "you're psyching yourself out."
Do you know what those phrases do to your friends? It feeds at their inner thoughts. Those are empty phrases. There is no meaning deep enough in those phrases that could possibly make anything better.
Actions speak louder than words. Sometimes I just need a break, because I'm tired of listening.
