I Forgot What It's Like To Be Single
Being in a relationship meant I always had someone to do things with. Now what?
I am the person who has always been in a relationship. Not sure if that is something to be proud of, but it has taught me a lot about myself and the people I surround myself with.
Before I go into depth of what it has taught me, let me describe to you what my love life looked like. For the most part, whenever I wasn't dating, I was seeing someone. I sought out someone's undivided attention online, on the phone, and in person. The boys and men I consumed and became a deep part of were great in their own ways, and they're doing well on their own. I never saw anyone for less than a month, and my most serious relationships lasted for about two years.
I forgot what it's like to be single. Dating meant you instantly had a partner to do things with. When you're single, you have to choose a person out of your friend group to hang out with and that can be stressful to plan out.
In time, though, I noticed the dating took a toll on my social skills. I incidentally conditioned myself to only be able to interact with one person at a time and in a very calm setting. In my loneliness, I get to know more about my dates than the students in my class and the friends I have been so close with for years. I became sort of an extroverted introvert, a person who can easily open up but only to certain people I felt passionate toward or (somehow) by luck, these people had the energy to continue speaking to me. My lack of good social skills brought me to a small and disappearing friend circle. As sad as it may sound, that is how the world works sometimes, and in all togetherness, the people in life and I are doing our best with what life throws at us and our friendships.
Although I continue to meet new people, they continue to appear in my life as new people. Meeting new people is therapeutic — to know that whoever I met, I wouldn't see them again and that made me carefree in events where I meet a ton at once. Carefree me doesn't hold back on about the past which brings me to explain what this mess has taught me about other people in my life.
"Oh, you were that girl."
"Are you scared of being alone?"
"You're going to break your heart."
"This is too quick."
Most people think that the people who constantly jump into relationships are broken, and they're desperate to find any source of love because they have no self-love.
Yes, f*ck yes.
No. Honestly, I like the attention I get from using Tinder, who wouldn't? Confidence is a product of self-love. Who wouldn't dream about being in a healthy relationship? Relationships are really beautiful and they come in all shapes and sizes. Being able to passionately share memories with one specific person sounds like every fairytale in the book.
People learned to accept what I do with my life and that's awesome to have over your head. They openly express their opinions when they want and how they want, and I digest it willingly or halfheartedly. I'm not trying to endorse the idea that it's alright to jump into relationships. I have done plenty of stupid and regrettable things. You should enter at your own pace with a healthy mindset or know the person enough to explicitly warn them about flaws you carry from your previous relationships.
And if you're anything like me and want to break away from that relationship mold, take simple steps with entering the social scene. It will be tiring and almost drowning at first, but practice makes perfect.
the 25 songs that HAVE to be on your summer playlist
Your summer is defined by your soundtrack:why make it anything but amazing? These songs will keep you and your friends grooving at any hangout.
Memories are made with two things: music and friends. Here's some help with one of those factors.
1. "Redbone" -Childish Gambino
when you hear the first hit of the drum the tears start falling.
2. "XO Tour Llif3" -Lil Uzi Vert
If your friends don't accompany you in screaming "I don't really care if you cryyyy", they're not your friends.
3. "Sober" - Childish Gambino
the lyrics make everyone depressed, but it's still a bop.
4. "Young Dumb & Broke" - Khalid
We've all personally been in this situation (still are)
5. "Plug Walk" -Rich the Kid
Never makes sense but always gives you an emotional dance break between sad songs.
6. "Ball For Me" -Post Malone & Nicki Manaj
Posty is always a great choice- and then add the QUEEN.. It's a yes.
7. "Kids See Ghosts"-KIDS SEE GHOSTS
Cudi and Kanye define Summer cookout playlist with this.
8. "Soulmate" - Mac Miller
YOU MY SOULMATE. we can all admit we just want someone to sing this to us
9. "NBAYOUNGBOAT" -Lil Yachty and NBA
the song that will make you wanna get up on the table tops and dance.
10. "Campfire"- AMINE
it's old school. it's groovy. it's Amine... what more do you need?
11. "Love me forever" - Lil Yachty
Lil Boat being sweet????
12. "Pretty Girl" -Clairo
one to sit by the pool with friends.
13. "Pink Toes"- Childish Gambino
ACT LIKE YOU KNOW
14. "Lucid Dreams" -Juice WRLD
again, one of the sad songs we all relate to.
15. "Cherry Blossom"- Jon Vinyl
one of those chill songs you stare at the ceiling to
16. "My Favorite Part"-Mac Miller
again: adorable song we all want sung to us
17. "LEMON"-N.E.R.D. &Rhianna
Just get it how ya live it.
18. "Run to the Sun"-N.E.R.D
Jazzy.
19. "Bubblin'" -Anderson.paak
a ghetto version of 007.
20. "Wanted you" -NAV & Lil Uzi Vert
from "where ya at?" you're all ears
21. "Nice for What"-Drake
Makes you want to dance
22. "DANG!"- Mac Miller & Anderson.paak
Two legends at it again
23. "KOD"-J.cole
cole always brings the hits
24. "WATCH"- Travis Scott & Lil Uzi Vert
look at ya rollie look at my rollie
25. "Really? Yeah!"-KYLE
low key fire.