I ask myself on a daily basis, what did I do to deserve you?
Our paths crossed in a time when my life was in shambles and my heart was shattered. When we started dating, you were a perfect distraction from the mess that was my life, from the constant pain of my existence. As the days turned to weeks and the weeks to months, however, the honeymoon phase began to dissipate and with it, my mirage of life.
As dark storm clouds began to seep from behind my mask of sunshine, smiles and self-confidence, I began to show you what I hide from most, my brokenness.
I fully expected you to walk - no, run - from me after seeing my demons rear their ugly heads, after finding I am not as great as I appear to be. I began our relationship prepared for its end and kept my heart locked away for the first couple months but, then two months turned to seven and I realized I had fallen for you.
You are the knight in shining armor I have dreamed of since I was a little girl but, we both know this is not a fairytale. Though I may be a damsel in distress, I do not need to be rescued by you, my knight.
I need you to stand by my side as I rescue myself, as I, alone, raise my sword and charge my demons atop my own trusty steed.
You, in all your glorious admiration, remain by my side exalting my battle cry as I ride into battle. Then, lifting my weak, defeated soul from the muddy battlefield, patching my wounds and you promptly, place me back in the saddle.
You send me back to war armed with your words of love and encouragement - my most lethal weapons.
There is no adequate way to describe in words the gratitude and strength I feel when you are by my side. I am so used to fighting my battles alone and, though I CAN do it by myself, having you there to push me into perseverance after suffering a defeat, makes the fighting a whole lot easier. Yes, I am at war for myself, my confidence, my happiness but, in my most doubtful, exhausted moments, I continue fighting for you.
I fight to become the best version of myself so that I can offer the best I have to you so that I can give you the support and love that you, not only deserve but give me without condition or expectation.
I want to love you with everything I have, with the best version of myself so, I fight and all I can say for now is, thank you and I love you.
Hayes and Taylor Taylor Boes
