Recently, I was driving to work and instead of listening to the radio, I put on Taylor Swift's "Speak Now" CD. I found myself doing what I normally would do when listening to Taylor Swift's music: singing terribly at the top of my lungs to every single word, thinking of a certain person or situation in my life that I could easily relate to a song, feeling pure, unapologetic happiness to every song. Or sadness, pretty much any emotion.

I thought to myself how it's so crazy to think that even though this album came out in 2010 when I was only fifteen years old, I've never been more able to relate to it in my life than now. The fact that the lyrics-- which were all written by Taylor and only Taylor-- tug at my heartstrings and make me feel things I never thought were possible. Unfortunately, nowadays I don't feel that way about her music.

Because the sad truth is: Taylor has changed. And it isn't just her this time that's made a drastic change, it's her music too. And I'm not okay with this.

Then again, it seems like she does this for every new album and era. Whether it be a change in her style, hair or persona. Who even is the "real" Taylor?

Because I guess it's no longer the person I saw for my very first concert on her "Fearless" tour. Or the person who got me to wear red lipstick for the first time because I felt confident enough to. Or the person who made me embrace my natural curls because hers looked so beautiful. Or the person whose first song I heard, "Our Song" in the back of my mom's car with my best friend when I was eleven made me a fan from that moment on. Or the person whose song "Mean" helped get me through high school when my friends decided they didn't want to be my friends anymore. Or the person whose song "The Best Day" I play for my mom every Mother's Day. Or the person whose love songs I always wanted to relate to instead of daydream about has finally come true for the first time. And let me tell you, there's no better feeling than being able to hear "Begin Again" or "Mine" or "Fearless" and have them on repeat and cry tears of happiness because for the first time you finally realize how beautiful these songs are now that you can relate to them.

But those days are over and she made that very clear towards the end of her recent music video for her latest song "Look What You Made Me Do" when she stood on top of her past selves and "killed" them. Let's not forget that she makes it even clearer when she states in her song that the old Taylor is "dead." I'm not gonna lie, that really hurt to hear.

It hurt knowing that she basically wants nothing to do with the person she used to be. I understand that Taylor is growing up and she can't stay young forever or always write songs about when she was a teenager. But that doesn't mean she has to go in a completely different direction with her lyrics, music and sound.

Look, I get that Taylor has had a very publicized life. She has been scrutinized and trash talked about constantly and for pretty much most of her career. So does she have a reason to be angry? Yes. However, could she have handled it better? Hell yes.

Taylor has said repeatedly how she has never wanted to be the mean girl, but now she's become one of them. She's turned into the brown-haired girl in the "You Belong With Me" music video.

She's taken what people and the media have said about her and used it to put the blame on them. To blame them for making her this way. But there have been times that she's been in the wrong too and she never wants to address it. I'm not saying she deserves the hate, but when you've done something wrong, you own up to it. Not hide away or write a song about it. You address it and let it go in a healthy and mature way.

It seems like ever since she dipped into the pop scene she's become a different person. Gone are her deep and touching lyrics and to replace it are repetitive choruses with vaguely meaningful lyrics. Gone are her beautiful background instruments and to replace it are sound mixes that are over used and plain terrible. Gone are her deep breaths and strained, emotional words you can hear in the song and to replace it is overdone auto tune.

Overall, the new Taylor seems to be trying too hard and after waiting over three years for new music and a new era, I've never been more disappointed. Even though her new music video is a symbolic masterpiece and she's breaking records, her songs are just not that good, point blank.

I'm upset that I'll never get the same feeling I used to when listening to her old music.

I'm upset that I probably won't go to see her on tour this time around because I don't want to see this Taylor and with the new way to get tickets, I don't feel important or worthy of them with everything you have to do to prove you're a true fan. I shouldn't have to prove anything.

I'm upset for what the future holds if she continues to go in this direction with her music.

I know I'll probably get some backlash from this because even though I don't like where Taylor is headed, I'm still a devoted Swiftie and will always defend and support her when needed. And I shouldn't be bashed for expressing my opinion on something, especially when it's something I can't pretend to like no matter how many times I listen to her new songs and try to find something good in it.

I get that change is good, but sometimes you should stick to what you know.

I'm sorry, but can the old Taylor come to the phone please, I miss her.