10-Step Guide To Surviving Hurricane Irma (The "You Go To College In Florida" Edition)

10-Step Guide To Surviving Hurricane Irma (The "You Go To College In Florida" Edition)

This hurricane WAS NOT on the syllabus.

Florida Photo Matt

Hurricane Irma is on its way and all of Florida has gone into zombie apocalypse mode.

Hide yo kids, Hide yo wife. Pack up everything you own, take the dog, take the family and get out of the state.

Forget the water, just stock up on the wine because we are all going to need it.

*Disclaimer* Please do not follow these steps, take your own precautions and make smart decisions. This article is purely for your entertainment. Again I repeat DO NOT follow these steps, they are not legit and/or safe.

Here are 10 steps to take to stay (allegedly) "safe" during the hurricane:

Step 1: Panic.

Step 2: Contact all of your friends and let them know that you are in a panic.

Step 3: Full blown anxiety attack.


Step 4: Call your parents so they can give you a realistic plan.

Unfortunately, you have now put your parents in panic mode as well and everybody is a mess.

Step 5: Don't pay attention in class because you are so worried about the storm.

Step 6: Cry.

The flood gates have opened, pun intended. (Too soon?)

Step 7: Spend all day thinking of an evacuation plan that will most likely backfire.

Step 8: Go to the store and plan to buy a shit ton of water and canned food...just to find out its already all sold out.

Wine will have to do.

Step 9: Try to book a flight somewhere safe...just to find out flights are all sold out.

Step 10: Panic some more and begin to accept your defeat.

Stay safe out there y'all!!

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