10-Step Guide To Surviving Hurricane Irma (The "You Go To College In Florida" Edition)

10-Step Guide To Surviving Hurricane Irma (The "You Go To College In Florida" Edition)

This hurricane WAS NOT on the syllabus.
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Hurricane Irma is on its way and all of Florida has gone into zombie apocalypse mode.

Hide yo kids, Hide yo wife. Pack up everything you own, take the dog, take the family and get out of the state.

Forget the water, just stock up on the wine because we are all going to need it.

*Disclaimer* Please do not follow these steps, take your own precautions and make smart decisions. This article is purely for your entertainment. Again I repeat DO NOT follow these steps, they are not legit and/or safe.

Here are 10 steps to take to stay (allegedly) "safe" during the hurricane:

Step 1: Panic.

Step 2: Contact all of your friends and let them know that you are in a panic.

Step 3: Full blown anxiety attack.

THIS WASN'T ON THE SYLLABUS

Step 4: Call your parents so they can give you a realistic plan.

Unfortunately, you have now put your parents in panic mode as well and everybody is a mess.

Step 5: Don't pay attention in class because you are so worried about the storm.

Step 6: Cry.

The flood gates have opened, pun intended. (Too soon?)

Step 7: Spend all day thinking of an evacuation plan that will most likely backfire.

Step 8: Go to the store and plan to buy a shit ton of water and canned food...just to find out its already all sold out.

Wine will have to do.

Step 9: Try to book a flight somewhere safe...just to find out flights are all sold out.

Step 10: Panic some more and begin to accept your defeat.


Stay safe out there y'all!!

Cover Image Credit: Florida Photo Matt

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I'm A Woman And You Can't Convince Me Breastfeeding In Public Is OK In 2019

Sorry, not sorry.

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Lately, I have seen so many people going off on social media about how people shouldn't be upset with mothers breastfeeding in public. You know what? I disagree.

There's a huge difference between being modest while breastfeeding and just being straight up careless, trashy and disrespectful to those around you. Why don't you try popping out a boob without a baby attached to it and see how long it takes for you to get arrested for public indecency? Strange how that works, right?

So many people talking about it bring up the point of how we shouldn't "sexualize" breastfeeding and seeing a woman's breasts while doing so. Actually, all of these people are missing the point. It's not sexual, it's just purely immodest and disrespectful.

If you see a girl in a shirt cut too low, you call her a slut. If you see a celebrity post a nude photo, you call them immodest and a terrible role model. What makes you think that pulling out a breast in the middle of public is different, regardless of what you're doing with it?

If I'm eating in a restaurant, I would be disgusted if the person at the table next to me had their bare feet out while they were eating. It's just not appropriate. Neither is pulling out your breast for the entire general public to see.

Nobody asked you to put a blanket over your kid's head to feed them. Nobody asked you to go feed them in a dirty bathroom. But you don't need to basically be topless to feed your kid. Growing up, I watched my mom feed my younger siblings in public. She never shied away from it, but the way she did it was always tasteful and never drew attention. She would cover herself up while doing it. She would make sure that nothing inappropriate could be seen. She was lowkey about it.

Mindblowing, right? Wait, you can actually breastfeed in public and not have to show everyone what you're doing? What a revolutionary idea!

There is nothing wrong with feeding your baby. It's something you need to do, it's a part of life. But there is definitely something wrong with thinking it's fine to expose yourself to the entire world while doing it. Nobody wants to see it. Nobody cares if you're feeding your kid. Nobody cares if you're trying to make some sort of weird "feminist" statement by showing them your boobs.

Cover up. Be modest. Be mindful. Be respectful. Don't want to see my boobs? Good, I don't want to see yours either. Hard to believe, I know.

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