I like sugar grits. They remind me of my grandma who passed away when I was 3-years old. She used to feed them to me almost every time I visited her as a child. She would serve them with hot links or little fish cakes. They weren’t always prepared with sugar, but they were always good. And you can’t take that away from me.
If you haven’t heard of the Sugar Grits vs Salted Grits debate that broke out last week, you’re probably not a black person. If you are a black person and haven’t been in the loop, consider yourself lucky. This is a silly joke gone too far, like Donald Trump’s candidacy.
However, I won’t stand around and let others infringe on my right to eat my corn meal, however, the heck I want. The reality is that grits are a very versatile dish. In fact, corn is a very versatile crop that can be prepared in hundreds of ways and even used to fuel motor vehicles. It is food magic. Grits possess some of this divine versatility and it is short-sighted to suggest that there is only a single correct way to prepare them. This article has over a dozen ways to soup up a bowl of grits. They’re all abominations, despite what I just said about their not being a right way to prepare this dish, but if other people choose to eat their grits that way then why the heck should I care? In fact, those of you who are so adamant about “maintaining the sanctity of grits” (like that was ever really a thing) sound a lot like Trump supporters.
Let’s take rice, for example. Rice is also a magical crop used in cooking in basically every culture. To say that there is a “right” way to prepare rice sounds ridiculous. Fried rice, steamed rice, wet rice, rice balls, rice with curry, arroz con pollo — I could go on. It is a dish that more often than not is prepared in savory meals, that is to say, things you would traditionally season with rice. But hot damn have you ever had sweet rice?! Holy mother of monkey milk, that stuff is amazing. It’s rice that has milk and cinnamon and probably other stuff. Heck if I know; my mom would just make it for me sometimes. You’re smart enough to see where I’m going with this. Even though I’ve had grits with salt more often than with sugar, adding sugar is a perfectly delicious and valid way to prepare them. You can’t live your life hating sugar grits and the people who eat them. What is disguised as bigotry is really just a profound fear of things that are different than what you are used to? Be honest, how excited were you when Trump clinched the GOP nomination last week?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=679LN1O8TGA
Just like a Krabby Patty, the only people who don’t like sugar grits have never tasted them. I mean sure, there’s always the smart aleck who’s like “I’ve tasted them and they taste like garbage! Let’s make grits great again!” I’m definitely not saying they’re for everyone, but the people who are fighting on the side of salt grits only probably grew up in a house where that was the only way they were prepared. But like that abominable Buzzfeed article that I linked to up above that tries to make grits some kind of bougie entrée, there are so many other creative ways to prepare grits that we’ve likely never been exposed to. And sure you may have your preferred way, but it doesn’t make somebody else’s way wrong.
If you really wanted to get into it, we could talk about the significance of grits to the black community, appropriation, and a bunch of other parallels I could easily draw from this, but I’ve found that these types of conversations are generally not well-received by Trump supporters. Also, this is still just a silly joke debate that has gone too far and lasted a week longer than it should have. So let’s keep it simple. You might not like sugar grits, but I do. And that’s that. In fact, the only way I would ever stop eating sugar grits is if The Donald posted a picture of himself eating a bowl of them with a caption that said. “Happy Black History Month. The best sugar grits are made right here at Trump Towers Plantation. I love Blacks!” Please don’t vote for that man.