Over the last few weeks, my life has literally flipped on its head. It's been a roller coaster ride, but we are surviving.
It's a huge struggle, but we are determined to rise above this difficult time. I have to say that my loving boyfriend is doing such a wonderful job overcoming his panic and extending his comfort radius. He hasn't worked out of the house and over three years.
Working in the office is daunting to him but because he loves me and our son he is willing to push his limits and leave his comfort zone. For someone who struggles with panic and agoraphobia, it is hard to change the places where you are comfortable with.
There have been major adjustments, and we are all having a difficult time with it, but because of our close family bond, we are making it work. Our days consist of waking up at dawn when it used to be noon or later.
We make a daily trip that is at least 35 to 40 minutes away from home. All of us, My boyfriend and our dog daughter, Haley in one car and me and our son, Brennan, in the other car, Then Brennan, Haley, and I make the trip back home, and I do the daily grind of laundry and the other mundane muck of life.
Then around 4:45 pm I make the trek with kiddos back to follow my boyfriend home. I know that a lot of you are probably thinking that it's just stupid and why waste all that gas?
Two words… Family Support. If the shoe were on the metaphorical other foot, I know that he would do the same for me. Living with panic and anxiety every day of your life since age 18 is not easy. He's fought with it for many years. I've seen him at his best and his worst with it. I'm his safe person and can make it all better. Living with panic coupled with agoraphobia makes leaving a comfort radius very challenging.
Does it get tiring, and I stress out? Yes, it does, but I do it anyway because he is the most important person in the world to me and I would do anything necessary to keep his panic at bay. Sometimes I have to remember that it's not him. It's a part of him, but during a panic attack, it's the panic talking, not him. The fight or flight response kicks in and thoughts are no longer rational.
I have to remember to keep my cool and reassure him that everything is going to be ok and that it will pass. Sometimes it's much easier said than done. I have suffered the horrid effects of panic and anxiety; it quickly changes whatever situation you are to instantly think that you aren't going to make it through the next moment.
I don't wish this horrible disease on anyone and if I have the power to take it from my beloved boyfriend, I would. I would take it all from him and throw it into the depths of the sea, so he would never have to suffer it again.
If you know someone that suffers from panic, the best thing you can do is be supportive. Trying to understand it won't make sense to you because panic isn't logical. It's irrational thoughts and makes the person having them temporarily lose control. I have witnessed it firsthand. Being a caring and supportive person is very important for them to calm down and conquer the panic.
If you too suffer from this life-altering mental illness know that you are not alone! There are many other people facing it with you. Support is the biggest reason that the love of my life can get out of bed every day.