Summertime Reflections

Summertime Reflections

11) Petty people say bye bye
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After a nearly three month hiatus, I am back. I debated coming back, if we are being completely honest. I mean, I developed a blog, which allowed me creative fluidity in producing what I wanted when I wanted it to be published. However, seeing that I do feel needed with my Odyssey at Southern Miss fam, I felt it to be necessary to come back. This summer, I learned a lot about myself, the world, and the people in my life. I can only hope that they appreciate this as a salute to who they are as people. Enjoy.

1) Those close to you have a significant influence on your actions.

One of the earliest reality checks that I received this summer was when I looked back on things. What was I doing or thinking when I was in or with ABCD? Why am I this way? I asked myself these questions to come with no answer. What I did learn is that the closer you are to people, the better or worse person you become. Sometimes, it's the people, not the actions, that sway who you you become.

2) Nature is a beautiful place.

Not going to lie, it has been a rough summer filled with lots of ups and downs. Each time I was upset about something that I could not control, I turned to nature. Even on the most humid days where you could literally see the heat escaping the asphalt, it was a nice break from the chaos that surrounded me. Sometimes, it is the simple things that have the greatest impact.

3) I need to write more

Writing is not only one of my passions, but a talent, too. Luckily with my major, I get to combine them. However, it is one thing to have an assignment where I write and another to do it for pleasure. I need to do it for pleasure a lot more, even if it involves toying around with my journals every once in awhile.

4) When in doubt, there are always dogs.

Dogs are one of the few things in life that love with no conditions or boundaries. When I felt alone this summer, my dogs were who I turned to. As silly as that may sound, at some of my lowest moments, they came and licked the tears away, and provided a calm amongst my emotional storm.

5) When you need help, get it.

This is one of the biggest lessons I learned this summer. No matter where you are, there is always someone out there who has your back. Tell them your problems, and they will listen. If they are really good friends, then they won't judge, either. I also had to learn that anti anxiety pills are actually fantastic, and a good thing. I used to think that I was "strong enough" for such a thing, but I am now a happier person because of it.

6) Not everyone will like you, and that is okay.

Honestly, at this point in my life, I don't care whether people like me or not. Do I value some opinions? Of course I do. But wasting time in my free thinking worrying about what a small group of people think about me is useless. I had to learn the hard way that people are just immature. It is hard to grow with people when some cannot grow up.

7) (Some of) my family has my back

Sydney, this one is for you. I cannot thank you enough for being there for me in my low moments this summer. I am honored to be related to you, and even more honored to have such sweet GodKittens like Roro and Lolo. (Side note: how could you not love that face?)

8) New beginnings are scary, but they are not impossible.

This year, I am starting over. Like, from scratch, nada, got what I need and that is all, type thing. It is truly terrifying to think that I will not have the same people in my life at the

9) Part of the future is learning to let go of the past.

Like I said before, some people are too concerned with being petty and are immature af. But like Maxine Waters said, these people are just not worth "reclaiming my time" over. I had to learn the hard way that dwelling in your past prevents you from enjoying the now, and also the future. In many cases, you just have to be like Elsa and "let them go."

10) I am me, and nobody can change that

One of the things that comes with the emotional territory of anxiety is questioning yourself. "Am I good enough? What will I be?" Sometimes, it is easy to think that you are good, but not good enough. And you know what? At this moment in time, you are you, and there are people who love you. It is so easy to point to the negative and not the positive. However, when in doubt, stay golden.

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I Woke up In The Middle Of The Night To Write About My Fears, They're Worse Than The Dark

One minute I'm thinking about what I want to do after college next thing I know I'm remembering the time I tried talking to a boy and choked on my spit.

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It is one of those nights when I am tired, but for some reason, I can't seem to fall asleep. So, what do I do? I pull out my laptop, and I begin to write. Who knows where it will lead. It could lead to a killer article or something that does not make sense. I mean it is almost 2 A.M. In my mind, that's pretty late.

Anyways, let's do this thing.

Like many people, thoughts seem to pile up in my head at this time. It could be anything from a time when I was younger to embarrassing stories to wondering why I am "wasting" my time somewhere to thoughts about the future. All of these things come at me like a wildfire. One minute I'm thinking about what I want to do after college next thing I know I'm remembering the time I tried talking to a boy and choked on my spit.

The thought that is going through my mind as I write this is about the future. It's about the future of my fears. Let me explain. I have multiple fears. Some of my fears I can hide pretty well, others I am terrible at hiding. My fears may seem silly to some. While others might have the same fears. Shall we start?

1. My career

I don't know where to begin with this one. For as long as I can remember, my consistent dream job has been working in the world of sports, specifically hockey. A career in sports can be and is a challenging thing. The public eye is on you constantly. A poor trade choice? Fans are angry. Your team sucks? "Fans" are threatening to cheer for someone else if you can't get your sh*t together. You can be blamed for anything and everything. Whether you are the coach, general manager, owner, it does not matter. That's terrifying to me, but for some reason, I want to work for a team.

2. My family

Julie Fox

Failing with my family, whether that be the family I was born into or my future family, it terrifies me. I have watched families around me fall apart and I have seen how it has affected them. Relationships have fallen apart because of it. I have heard people talk about how much they hate one of their parents because of what happened. I don't want that.

3. Time

This could be a dumb fear. I'm not sure, but I fear time. With every minute that passes, I am just another minute closer to the end. With every day that passes that I am not accomplishing goals or dreams I have, I am losing precious time. It scares me to think of something horrible like "What if I die tomorrow because of something horrific?" or even worse, "What if I don't make it through today?" It's terrible, I know.

4. Forgetting precious memories

When I was younger, I had brain surgery. It is now much harder for me to remember things. I am truly terrified that I am going to forget things I will want to hold close to me forever, but I won't be able to. I am scared I'll forget about the little things that mean a lot. I'm afraid of forgetting about old memories that may disappear. I'm worried that I'll forget about something like my wedding day. That might seem out of this world, but it's a reality for me.

5. Saying "goodbye"

I hate saying bye. It is one of my least favorite things. Saying bye, especially to people I don't know when I'll see again, is a stab in the heart for me. I love my people so much. I love being around them. I love laughing with them. Thought of never having a hello with them again scares me beyond belief.

6. Leaving places that I love

Alright, let me start off by saying this- it takes a lot for me to love a place. It has to feel like home. It has to make me feel comfortable. It has to be a place I can go to and be myself. Thankfully, I have had and still have multiple places that are like that. I have also had places I could not wait to leave. I think that's why leaving places I love is so hard and something I fear so much. I am afraid I'll never get that place "back", for lack of a better term. I guess, I'm trying to say, it's like a piece of me is leaving as well.




These six things are just the start of my fears. Some of these might seem "dumb" or "ridiculous" to you, but for me, it's my life. These are the things that I think about the most. These are the things that feel like a pit in my stomach. These six things are parts of my life that mean a lot to me.

Cover Image Credit:

Emily Heinrichs

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Stop Apologizing For Who You Are And Be Unapologetically You

"Sometimes you have to kind of die inside in order to rise from your own ashes and believe in yourself and love yourself to become a new person." -Gerard Way

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Role models are very important. Role models play a role in helping shape who you are, whether that be your parents, grandparents, church family, teachers, friends, or even celebrities. Many of your role models can be unapologetically themselves. Who wouldn't want a role model to be unapologetically themselves? You can have as many role models as you want, but the biggest role model you will ever have in your life is yourself. You can learn a lot from other people, but I guarantee you can learn more from yourself.

Whenever I have kids, I will teach them so many things, but the main thing I want them to learn is that it is okay to be yourself. It's okay to be yourself in a society that frowns upon uniqueness, creativity, equality, faithfulness, magnanimity, helpfulness, hard-workers, independence, love, optimism, self-confidence, and thoughtfulness. I was raised like this and I turned out okay, but I'm not perfect. You're not perfect. Our generation isn't perfect. The generation before us wasn't perfect. The generation after us won't be perfect. Society isn't perfect and they will never be perfect.

People in society think they are perfect and they practice perfection and grace, but really practice arrogance, belligerence, cruelty, cynicism, deceitfulness, dishonesty, foolishness, greed, impatience, jealousy, materialistic views, pessimism, thoughtlessness, unkindness, unreliability, untrustworthiness, and vagueness to the world.

This world is filled with bullies, but as Michelle Obama said, "When they go low, we go high."

Rise above the hate, rise above the pessimistic views, rise above and become the greatest that you can be. In the end, what matters is how you view yourself, not someone who you won't see in twenty years. Don't lose hope. Society will try and bring you down, but please remember to rise above it. Be unapologetically you.

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@hannahg11/Instagram

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