Not going to start this off with a lie but here’s the situation, I really thought I was going to be able to make time for everything this summer, but one week in with classes and my own personal commitments like going to the gym and hanging out with friends already has me in a rut and I cannot even begin to explain HOW STRESSED OUT I AM.

I don’t think I’ve ever felt this stressed before, I think since I didn’t have like a four-hour long calculus two class I was fine. But even with one class, this class is ripping me apart like no other. The professor is INSANE, let me tell you. But it’s whatever because it's only seven more weeks; I think I can do it. Hopefully.

I mean I rarely sleep anymore, so like I’m up by six every morning and go to bed around eleven so I just don’t understand why there isn’t any time for anything anymore. I want to be able to relax and sit around and watch my favorite shows (which I genuinely thought I was going to have time to do this summer, but with all my responsibilities I can’t seem to catch a break).

But I guess this is what has to do with growing up and trying to go into a field where there are no breaks, no really though. Doctors can’t ever catch a break especially if you work in the hospital; better work at a private practice then so I can work from like 8 am. until 4 p.m. and go home and sleep or do whatever--maybe sit with my dogs and enjoy a nice glass of wine and watch TV and just enjoy life.

And work? Oh God, I haven’t even started working and I already want to die. I feel like I’m going to have to work a lot of hours, which realistically I want to because I need the money but then at the same time I’m starting to question if I necessarily have the time right now.

My responsibilities at the moment include being able to go workout, then go to work, then class and then have time to study for the stupid calculus two class which I DON’T EVEN NEED FOR ANYTHING BUT NEED IT FOR MY MAJOR????? Like what even?

Regardless, I mean if I made it out of freshmen year alive I think I can make it these next seven weeks. I just need to pass to get credits that’s all but like all the material is so hard and I have no idea why I even decided to kill myself and take this class especially if it means I’m going to have to pull a few all-nighters to study for this class and do a crap ton of practice problems until I die.

Oh well, I guess, at least I’m saving money for this class and it won’t cost me anything. I just need fewer hours at work, but I feel like since I’m just starting I wouldn’t be scheduled a lot but who knows. And plus, I would feel bad telling them I need to switch my schedule again because I already did before, and low key I think they already hate me. Man, I miss summer camp.