I have just finished my freshman year of college with many new memories and many new people in my life. Very much like how my university, Creighton, had came into my life, many of the people who entered my life during this academic year were complete surprises in my life: the good kind of surprise—people I never would’ve thought of would be those forever in my heart. One of the many I was very fortunate to meet was my current boyfriend, Spencer. We’ve just celebrated our 6 months (or half year if you must) together and I’m estates how far we’ve come. Through some an amazing but stressful year, we had a fair share of being able to support each other when we couldn’t support ourselves. We like to think we came into each other’s lives at the right time; him closing a chapter of interest with someone else, and me, on a break/breaking from a good but very far distance relationship. As our relationship was strong going into summer break, I couldn’t help but think, with him living in Phoenix and I in Chicago, how could this relationship be any different than my last?
With quite a negative thought floating in my head before break, let me just spoil it for you upfront, that was the shortest lasting idea I’ve ever had; Spencer & I actually celebrated our 6 months together, in person. We’ve made it work because ultimately we both wanted to and both wanted to make each other priorities, but not our only ones. So what makes this relationship different? As I said before, my last relationship was great, so what changes need to be made for our summer, long distance relationship?
I think for one, we were able to slowly be acclimated into time apart due to shorter breaks such as fall, winter, and spring break; we couldn’t visit each other at all during this time, but these were small enough increments of time for us to prepare for longer periods. Another point to be made, in regards to time, would definitely be our time together in school beats the amount of time apart in the summer. However, even so, we’ve made it goal and desire to visit each other’s hometown at least once this summer break, something I find important I’m developing not only our relationship but the relationship we have with our loved ones back home. But what towers all reasons is what everything is based off of: effort and intention. Given we’ve been able to be with each other, in person, through the long period of time in schooling, I think we were really able to read each other in how we can identify the effort and intention within each other, for each other. Through that, we grew many aspects of self control, self discipline, patience, and self sacrifice, not only helping the other, but bettering ourselves.
My thoughts are always with him, but they’re not in my for front; I put myself first and make him one of my first priorities during this time apart, but again, not my only one. We establish this and have built a lot of natural trust out of it. We are free to do what we want, knowing at the end of the day we can call each other about it after. I’m very proud of that fact, and I only wish it to all of your scared of taking that step with your significant others. It takes time, effort, and intention, as said, along with other things that come along. All situations are different, but as long as you both believe it’s possible, than it will be. Don’t let other stories or assumptions influence who you keep in your life. Remember, with every, “out of site, out of mind” there is a “distance makes the heart grow fonder”, and I hope you find that if you find worth in it.
Dedicated to Harrison Spencer Eller