Lazy Summer Bucket List for Lazy Assholes (Like Me)

Lazy Summer Bucket List for Lazy Assholes (Like Me)

How to enjoy these sad last days of freedom.

Lazy Summer Bucket List for Lazy Assholes (Like Me)

I'm going to be completely honest with you guys. I got really God damn lazy composing this week's article. Clearly. I made another zero-effort listicle? Come on. Last week I published a nuanced reaction to Ari Aster's newest cerebral folk-horror, Midsommar, and now I'm throwing out some dumb summer bucket list?

But can you blame me? July is on its last dying day and between fights with financial aid and the ever approaching start of classes at the end of August, I am exhausted. I'm just not ready for summer to end, though no one ever seems to be, even if it means seeing friends I haven't talked to in months or not having to do chores around my parents' house every day. I'm just not ready.

But campus isn't going to go into shutdown until I'm finally ready to forfeit my summer freedom, so I desperately made this bucket list of summer activities to bring some relief when the first day of classes catches up to me. Here's a picture of the thing if you're curious:

Poor Quality Image of My Goofy Bucket ListTaken by Natalie Merizalde

No, there isn't a problem with your monitor or your eyes. The picture is really that grainy and, clearly, I am well overdue for a phone upgrade. My beat-up old 5 SE is just not what it used to be. But even on the off chance that you can clearly decipher this list, I'll make things a little easier on everyone. It contains 28 items, ranging from stupidly easy to doable but more time consuming. Several things can be accomplished in a single night while a few of the activities can take an entire day if you do them right. Ultimately, there are enough items on this list to give you a sense of accomplishment without obstructing whatever pre-existing plans remain for your summer. You're beholden to your own judgement of what you'd like this final month to shape up to, and this grab bag of random and delightfully stupid little errands and challenges is merely your toolbox for this month of mourning. My gift to you.

1. Go to a Drive-In Movie

Popcorn with Admission Tickets

People used to do this all the time, but now it's become something of a lost art. Try it out for yourself, and maybe you'll see why it was once a staple of the teen experience.

2. Go Paddleboarding

Man Paddling on a Yellow Paddle Board

If you've never done this, be prepared to get wet. You're never as steady as you imagine yourself to be.

3. Go on a Picnic

Crack open a cooler and settle down for lunch in the park instead of in your dim kitchen.

4. Go to a Waterfall

See if you can sniff out one of nature's most elusive wonders.

5. Go to a Farmer's Market

Person Giving Fruit to Another

You'll never appreciate your community more.

6. Go Ziplining

Woman in Orange Helmet Belaying Down

If you want your life to literally flash before your eyes, or for you to flash through it, then this is just the thing for you.

7. Have a Spa Day

Put on an avocado and honey face mask, make some homemade lemonade, and soak your feet in epsom salt for a day. If you don't feel like a brand new person, then you've done it wrong.

8. Have a Staycation

Turn your house into your castle. Rediscover all the luxuries you've been taking advantage of.

9. Watch a Sunrise

Something that will truly get you excited to wake up in the morning.

10. Go on a Hike

Simple, but incredibly relaxing.

11. Learn a Dance

You can take this one as seriously as you'd like. Be your own judge of what qualifies as a dance.

12. Go Night Swimming

Somehow, it's always so much more fun to hijack the pool in the cover of night. No screaming little kids. No blazing sun.

13. Get Henna Tattoos

Outside of the profound cultural significance of Henna, this paste makes for a gorgeous self-project to create beautiful works of temporary art.

14. Go Rock Climbing

You'll work up a sweat, look dumb as hell fumbling up a wall, and probably end up having a pretty great time.

15. Go to a Cabin

A classic summer experience.

16. Burn Old School Work

If you've never done this, you're missing out on one of the best parts of having to go to school at all.

17. Binge Watch TV Series

I'm sure that many of you can cross this one off your list.

18. Have a Game Night

It starts out with laughs and the same twenty questions about the rules, and it ends with the pieces on the floor and everyone at each other's throats.

19. Bonfire with S'Mores

I don't think I really need to convince anyone to go through with this one, if they haven't already.

20. Make Homemade Pizza

You might not get it perfect on the first try, but it always tastes better after all the blood, sweat, and tears it took to make something that you normally drop twenty bucks on.

21. Watch an Outdoor Movie at Home

Some people pull out a laptop and sit on their back porch while others buy a projector and make a night of camping in their own backyard.

22. Go to a Summer Concert

This is probably where half of your summer photos are going to come from.

23. Have a Spontaneous Road Trip

You can drive to the opposite coast or you can hop over to a town half an hour over. Just head somewhere on a whim.

24. Write a Letter to Santa

This one's kind of a joke. Kind of.

If you test this one out, please show me the response letter that you may or may not get back.

25. Get Yours Ears Pierced

Maybe this will be your first piercing or maybe you're adding new studs to your collection. If nothing else, the experience of getting a piercing will be a bit of a rush and you'll have yet another excuse to throw on something cute on those boring Tuesday evenings.

26. Join/Make a Summer Book Club

It can be a professional circle of dedicated readers, or it can be you and your mom shooting the shit about some picture book that you bought when Barnes & Noble was having a giveaway sale.

27. Buy a Tourist Shirt

This sounds like a waste of money, but you've got to trust me on this one. My blue and green Hawaiin button-up has become one of my absolute favorite shirts. You'd be surprised at how easy it is to embrace the goofiest parts of ourselves.

28. Have a Day at the Lake

This is a little location specific, because the area of Georgia where I live is decently close to a few lake areas, the most famous of which is Lake Lanier, but it might be a little fun to do some investigating on what natural beauties are hidden around your hometown.

I hope that this helps at least a few of you find some way to productively whittle away your time before school gets the drop on everyone. If nothing else, this list has definitely given me things to do other than just sitting at home and sulking over a summer that still has a few small adventures waiting in between those lazy afternoons.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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