I'm sure I don't need to tell you that life right now is wildly different than any of us imagined it being. I think that I can speak for most people when I say that I came into 2020 with high hopes of a Roaring Twenties 2.0, or at least something a bit better than 2019. So far, though, 2020 has felt like a series of repeated blows to those hopes.

During the first few weeks of the year, though, we heard the news that President Donald Trump had successfully called for the assassination of Iran's Qasem Soleimani. This prompted a worldwide media surge, and consequentially a Twitter heyday full of World War III memes (most of which were fairly tone-deaf to the fact that, no, a world war was not about to start, and, though tons of people in Western countries made jokes out of it, it was realistically the Iranian people who would bear the brunt of the conflicts sparked by this interaction).

As a budding environmentalist, the unprecedented bush fires in Australia— followed by severe flooding there right after— was a snap to the reality that I think was very crucial for the world to see. These disasters were devastating and terrifying, and their effects are still being, and will continue to be, felt in our “modern" world unless we as humans can have a mass mindset change toward the environment.

There were dozens of other major events that took place early this year, but for today's sake I'll jump to— and past— the coronavirus.

Almost every single person I know has had something important to them canceled for this summer, and I'm sure you have, too. About a month ago, I found out that my trip to Europe with the Kentucky Ambassadors of Music had been canceled. I had been planning and saving up for this trip for well over a year. It was going to be my first time leaving the country, and being as I was paying for it all with my own money, I really felt like this trip was my baby. As a longtime choir nerd, I was ecstatic to sing in some of Europe's most renowned cathedrals for audiences I would never have had the opportunity to meet otherwise. Now, I don't know if I will ever get a chance like this again.

One of my best friends had a major internship program in Washington, D.C. canceled just a couple weeks ago. Over the past school year, I watched her work incredibly hard to receive this opportunity, and I could not have been more proud of her for getting it. I was crushed to see it taken away from her.

At the end of the day, I realize that everyone has had something that they were looking forward to— big or small— get taken from them due to this pandemic. Knowing that doesn't necessarily make my own disappointment any easier to face, but it does provide me with a sense of comfort that we're all in the same boat. This is a crazy time to be alive, and there are many ways that I believe I am blessed to be living during this time. Our lives are likely to stay very different from how they were before for quite some time, but there's a beauty in being able to redefine our sense of “normal".

I turned in my final assignments and submitted my last (online) exam a couple of days ago. My freshman year of college is officially over, and I would be lying if I didn't say I'm disappointed that it came to such an uneventful close. Even if I don't get to have the parties and excitement and happily tearful goodbyes with my friends that I wish I had, I am still proud of myself for my achievements. I'm proud that I kept moving forward and made it through the last couple of months of online classes, even when it seemed impossible. However, I am just as proud of my low moments. My times feeling like my life and the world was flipping upside down all around me. My times feeling powerless. I'm proud of those moments because, before quarantine, those are the times when I would have forced myself to ignore my feelings and never actually confront my issues. Since I've been staying inside and had more time with my own thoughts, I notice myself taking the time to acknowledge and appreciate my frustration and sadness just as much as my happiness, and that proves my strength much more than I ever would have expected before.

So, looking forward to this summer, I no longer have any glamorous plans, but I am still excited. I am going to finally read all the books I've been dying to crack open. I am going to celebrate my brother's and sister's birthdays this month without any distractions. I even “adopted" a bunch of tiny succulents to spruce up my apartment and remind myself that there are still things I can control and take care of.

This summer will be so far different than any we have experienced before, so let's make sure to learn and grow from it.