Why You Should Stop Calling Suicide Selfish And Look In The Mirror

Why You Should Stop Calling Suicide Selfish And Look In The Mirror

If your first thought when someone confides in you about taking their own life is yourself, then who really is the selfish one?
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*Trigger Warning: Depression, suicide, self-harm.*

With the tragic deaths of musicians such as Chris Cornell and Chester Bennington and the release of Logic's emotional ballad 1-800 , it seems like the reoccurring topic of 2017 is a heartbreaking one; suicide. As someone who's lost good friends, and even almost herself to the same tragedy, this topic hits close to home, which is why it's taken so long for me to talk about.

It's no secret that I've been a Linkin Park fan for years now, so I kept up with the various press releases as they rolled out following Chester's passing. Unfortunately with the press releases came peoples opinions of his death as well, along with people's thoughts on suicide as a whole. Just like following the loss of Robin Williams, there were many people throwing out their thoughts that suicide is selfish or even cowardly.

"They didn't think of anyone but themselves."

"People need to toughen up."

"It's the cowards way out."

"What about their family? What about me?"

I wish these were some things I'd just heard of other people saying about suicide and it's victims, that I had never actually heard them with my own ears but I have. After missing class to attend a funeral for a high school friend who lost their battle with mental illness I heard it in whispered tones when people talked about why I had been gone. When I opened up about my own thoughts in my head when I was at an all-time low, I had it said to my face.

"I'm sorry you feel that way but I can't believe you would be that selfish to even consider that. How would we feel?"

I'm sorry, I thought I was trying to confide in you so I could get help, not feel worse? It's nearly 2018 and it's time to stop. It's time that we all stop calling suicide and those affected by suicidal thoughts selfish. If your first thought when someone confides in you about taking their own life is yourself, then who really is the selfish one?

Yes, suicide is tragic. It's heartbreaking and it's devastating to everyone involved. To feel that low to feel like ending your own life is the only answer is a pain I'd never wish upon my worst enemy. And losing someone you love by their own hand then feeling the soul-crushing guilt of forever wondering "What if?" is another unbearable pain I hope no one ever has to experience.

Yes, suicide affects more than just the one whose life is lost, it affects everyone who loved and cared about them. But that's the thing about depression, your mind plays tricks on you and tells you things that aren't true.

"You're nothing but a burden."

"They deserve better than you."

"They'll move on."

"They'll be happier when you're gone."

It's not that victims aren't thinking of others when they feel that level of low, their brain just tricks them that everyone else is doing them a favor. Suicide victims and victims are not selfish. They're lost, they're hurt, and they deserve love and support. If you can't offer them that, then maybe you're the toxic on in their life.

If you or anyone you know has ever felt like taking your life was your only option left please know you are not alone. You are powerful, you are strong, you are loved and even if I do not know you I pray for your heart and healing each and everyday. God bless, and may you all keep fighting.

If you or someone you know needs help, call 1-800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.

You can also text HELLO to 741-741 for free, 24-hour support from the Crisis Text Line.

Outside of the U.S., please visit the International Association for Suicide Prevention for a database of resources.


Cover Image Credit: Variety.com

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Everything You Will Miss If You Commit Suicide

The world needs you.
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You won't see the sunrise or have your favorite breakfast in the morning.

Instead, your family will mourn the sunrise because it means another day without you.

You will never stay up late talking to your friends or have a bonfire on a summer night.

You won't laugh until you cry again, or dance around and be silly.

You won't go on another adventure. You won't drive around under the moonlight and stars.

They'll miss you. They'll cry.

You won't fight with your siblings only to make up minutes later and laugh about it.

You won't get to interrogate your sister's fiancé when the time comes.

You won't be there to wipe away your mother's tears when she finds out that you're gone.

You won't be able to hug the ones that love you while they're waiting to wake up from the nightmare that had become their reality.

You won't be at your grandparents funeral, speaking about the good things they did in their life.

Instead, they will be at yours.

You won't find your purpose in life, the love of your life, get married or raise a family.

You won't celebrate another Christmas, Easter or birthday.

You won't turn another year older.

You will never see the places you've always dreamed of seeing.

You will not allow yourself the opportunity to get help.

This will be the last sunset you see.

You'll never see the sky change from a bright blue to purples, pinks, oranges, and yellows meshing together over the landscape again.

If the light has left your eyes and all you see is the darkness, know that it can get better. Let yourself get better.

This is what you will miss if you leave the world today.

This is who will care about you when you are gone.

You can change lives. But I hope it's not at the expense of yours.

We care. People care.

Don't let today be the end.

You don't have to live forever sad. You can be happy. It's not wrong to ask for help.

Thank you for staying. Thank you for fighting.

Suicide is a real problem that no one wants to talk about. I'm sure you're no different. But we need to talk about it. There is no difference between being suicidal and committing suicide. If someone tells you they want to kill themselves, do not think they won't do it. Do not just tell them, “Oh you'll be fine." Because when they aren't, you will wonder what you could have done to help. Sit with them however long you need to and tell them it will get better. Talk to them about their problems and tell them there is help. Be the help. Get them assistance. Remind them of all the things they will miss in life.

If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline — 1-800-273-8255

Cover Image Credit: Brittani Norman

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If You Want To Die Tonight, Please Read This

I want you to live. More importantly, I want you to want to live.

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If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline — 1-800-273-8255

Drowning.

Drowning.

Drowning.

Drowning.

The thoughts are deafening, screaming at you that the world would be better off without you and that no one would care if you were gone.

So, you find yourself on the Internet, searching for ways to die in a relatively painless way that will leave the least amount of mess for others. You find yourself thinking about the bridge a half mile from your house or the assortment of pills lining the walls of your medicine cabinet. You remember that your roommates will not be home from class for a few hours; that you are totally alone.

And then, in your Internet search for ways to finally escape the pain, you happen upon this article.

Yes, this one right here.

This one telling you to stay.

And, well, you find yourself still reading along because a piece of you, even if it is the smallest piece of your existence, wants a reason to live.

* * *

I am not sure what is causing you pain, and maybe you honestly are not sure either. All you know is that you have this pain — this never-ending pain — and it's become enough.

Society tells us that we need to tattoo a smile onto our faces and pretend that everything is OK even when we are aching on the inside. If you take one thing away from this article, I want you to remember this — it is OK not to be OK. It is OK if you are not OK today or tomorrow or next week or a year from now. However, one day, it will be a little better and there will be a little bit of sunshine peeking out through the clouds.

I want you to live. More importantly, I want you to want to live.

And, sometimes, wanting to live is about just noticing the little things that make you happy and remembering them.

Like the way the sun looks glistening off of the lake by your house at 5:47 p.m. on a Thursday evening.

Or the way the scent of your coffee creeps up your nostrils while it cools to a drinkable temperature.

Or the fact that a new episode of your family's favorite show is coming on this Thursday.

Or the way your Lush bath bomb colors your water into beautiful shades of blue and green and yellow and pink.

Or the dinner your Mom cooked for tonight to share with you, your Dad, and your sister.

* * *

Life may not turn out how you plan, but perhaps that is not a bad thing.

God has a plan for you.

Why the plan involves you feeling this way, I do not know, but I do know that God did not bring you into this world to suffer.

You deserve help.

You deserve love.

You deserve to be supported.

Even if you feel alone, I promise you are never alone.

You can text "Hello" to 741-741 at any hour of the day and someone will be there to support you.

* * *

So, tonight while you want to die, please just think about the last time you smiled so hard that your face physically hurt or laughed until you almost peed. Just think about a time that you felt something besides what you are feeling now and hold onto it.

Hold onto it, lie down, and go to sleep.

And wake up tomorrow knowing that you are a survivor.

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