Suicide has become popularized by many different "pop" mediums, including TV shows, books and music. Regardless of your opinion on how suicide is depicted in these mediums, it does something that is a huge step in the right direction: starting conversations.
Suicide is difficult. It's difficult to deal with when it happens, it's difficult to understand, it's difficult to have thoughts about. It's unique. It might mean something to me that eventually means something completely different to you. Talking about it more allows for a greater understanding of what suicidal thoughts and suicide itself means to people.
But no one wants to talk about what hurts them; they want to look past the fact that either they've had these thoughts and don't want to die, or have seen someone's life vanish before their eyes. And that is okay. Telling the people you love that you are hurting is hard, which is why you can talk to people who have no idea who you are and have them help you through and give you a new perspective on the situation.
You can call 1-800-273-8255, a 24/7 hotline where you can talk to a real person about what's going on in your life. It's never easy, and it's never cut and dry. Suicide is complex and incredibly dangerous.
I've experienced suicidal thoughts more than my fair share in this life, and one thing has always been consistent for me — I never actually want to die. Which sounds contradictory. I wanted so desperately to be gone, to be rid of the burden I create for those I love and to not have to feel the pain that I have to deal with day-to-day, but not dead, because that would cause even more issues. It would create sadness for my family because I would be gone, it would devastate my boyfriend who has been fighting right alongside me, and my friends would not understand why I didn't go to them.
It's complex, and it doesn't always make sense, but that's exactly why it needs to be talked about.
Those thoughts could very well have led to an abuse of sleeping pills or other behaviors to end my life just to end my personal suffering. They don't make much sense unless they're yours.
Overall, the takeaway is to talk to someone. Talk to your dog — I know I do. Don't let these thoughts continue on without anyone else knowing because it's a big step to admit it out loud, but it saves lives.