Stop Sugarcoating Things So Your Friends Feel Better About It

Stop Sugarcoating Things So Your Friends Feel Better about it

As a friend, you should be the one to tell someone they're messing up

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One expectation that should always be required of a friend is to tell you like it is, no matter how hard it is to hear. They should tell you when you are messing up, when you are lacking, when you are not doing enough and when you are wasting your life away by being stuck on bad habits. Often, your friends pick up a different side of you that your family doesn't always get to see. The side of you that messes up more often than not. The side of you that tends to be a little more reckless and uncaring. Which is fine, but we need people in our lives that do not sugarcoat things for us.

If you are wondering what I mean by "sugarcoating", I mean beating around the bush when it comes to telling someone they have a problem. For example, your friend has a few bad habits and you don't necessarily know how to handle them. Oh, is it their personality? Is it the way they were brought up? Or, "it's just who they are." Which, are all sorry excuses for someone to continue to ruin their lives or continue to hold onto bad habits. Sugarcoating does nothing but allow the other person to continue to do what they have always been doing. It's when you're being "too nice" for the sake of your friend's feelings. It's when you tell them that they are in the right when in reality, they are in the wrong. It's when you allow them to put blame on everything but themselves, or you encourage them to put blame on everyone but themselves.

And I get it, some people are not strong enough to tell other people what they are doing wrong. But this isn't okay. It doesn't always necessarily have to be something wrong, or something that might be hurting other people, it can just be something that is not healthy for them to continue to do. But people cannot grow if they don't see anything wrong with what they do wrong. Your friends will continue to stay in the same place and do the same thing if everyone around them is telling them that they are doing nothing wrong.

That's why you should stop sugarcoating shit for your friends. Your friends will keep doing circles in their life and forming bad habits because no one is telling them to stop. And I get that some people are hard-headed, that you have tried, but this doesn't mean stop trying. This doesn't mean start being nice to spare their feelings. We all have feelings and we all hate to hear the bad about us, but that is what we need. We need people in our lives to tell us to stop doing certain things or to stop ruining our lives. We need people in our lives that care enough to speak up knowing that it is going to hurt our feelings. It isn't healthy nor is it love to allow people in our lives to continue to do bad habits. You might be sparing feelings but in the long run, you are hurting them more than you could imagine.

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An Open Letter To My Unexpected Best Friend

You came out of nowhere and changed my life for the better.
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“It's so amazing when someone comes to your life and you expect nothing out of it, but suddenly, there right in front of you is everything you ever need."

-Unknown

Dear Unexpected Best Friend,

You were the person I never thought I would speak to and now you are my very best friend. You came out of nowhere and changed my life for the better. I can't thank you enough for everything you have done to shape me into the person I am today. You've taught me what it means to be selfless, caring, patient, and, more importantly, adventurous.

You don't realize how much better my life has become and all because you came out of nowhere. I didn't see you coming. I just saw you on occasion, and now I can't see my life without you in it. It's funny how life works itself out like that. Our unexpected friendship filled a hole in my life that I didn't know existed.

I don't even remember what life was like before you came along; it most likely had a lot less laughter and spontaneity than it does today. I can call you about anything and you would drop whatever you're doing to help me in any situation. You know when I need encouragement. You know when I am at my best and when I am at my worst. You always know exactly what to say.

SEE ALSO: 8 Tiny Lies Every Young Woman Has Told Their Best Friend

I couldn't have found a better friend than you if I tried. We balance each other out in the best way possible. You are most definitely the yin to my yang, and I don't care how cliché that sounds. Because of you, I've learned to stop caring what people think and to do my own thing regardless of any backlash I might receive. You are my very favorite part of what makes me who I am to this day.

It's as if I wished up a best friend, and poof — you appeared right in front of me. I am so beyond blessed to have you and I wouldn't trade the world for all our memories. Thanks for coming out of nowhere.

Love you forever and a day.

Cover Image Credit: Lauren Medders

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10 Fun Things You Should Do With Your College Friends Before Summer

Before your friend from New York heads back home, grab her and enjoy her company while you can.

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1. Go on a shopping spree for summer clothes

2. Try out a new restaurant

3. Get matching tattoos (or henna if this is too extreme)

4. Get piercings together

5. Go bowling with a group of friends

6. Go skydiving

7. Go explore a zoo

8. Go on a hiking trail

9. Plan out a weekend to meet over the summer

10. P-A-R-T-Y!!

In college, you meet people from all over the world. Though when you become best friends with those people it is hard to say goodbye when the college year ends. Hopefully, these ideas will help you say goodbye easier (it will definitely be hard but at least you have these memories to hold on too)!

akumari
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