Stop Sugarcoating Things So Your Friends Feel Better about it

Stop Sugarcoating Things So Your Friends Feel Better about it

As a friend, you should be the one to tell someone they're messing up

93
views

One expectation that should always be required of a friend is to tell you like it is, no matter how hard it is to hear. They should tell you when you are messing up, when you are lacking, when you are not doing enough and when you are wasting your life away by being stuck on bad habits. Often, your friends pick up a different side of you that your family doesn't always get to see. The side of you that messes up more often than not. The side of you that tends to be a little more reckless and uncaring. Which is fine, but we need people in our lives that do not sugarcoat things for us.

If you are wondering what I mean by "sugarcoating", I mean beating around the bush when it comes to telling someone they have a problem. For example, your friend has a few bad habits and you don't necessarily know how to handle them. Oh, is it their personality? Is it the way they were brought up? Or, "it's just who they are." Which, are all sorry excuses for someone to continue to ruin their lives or continue to hold onto bad habits. Sugarcoating does nothing but allow the other person to continue to do what they have always been doing. It's when you're being "too nice" for the sake of your friend's feelings. It's when you tell them that they are in the right when in reality, they are in the wrong. It's when you allow them to put blame on everything but themselves, or you encourage them to put blame on everyone but themselves.

And I get it, some people are not strong enough to tell other people what they are doing wrong. But this isn't okay. It doesn't always necessarily have to be something wrong, or something that might be hurting other people, it can just be something that is not healthy for them to continue to do. But people cannot grow if they don't see anything wrong with what they do wrong. Your friends will continue to stay in the same place and do the same thing if everyone around them is telling them that they are doing nothing wrong.

That's why you should stop sugarcoating shit for your friends. Your friends will keep doing circles in their life and forming bad habits because no one is telling them to stop. And I get that some people are hard-headed, that you have tried, but this doesn't mean stop trying. This doesn't mean start being nice to spare their feelings. We all have feelings and we all hate to hear the bad about us, but that is what we need. We need people in our lives to tell us to stop doing certain things or to stop ruining our lives. We need people in our lives that care enough to speak up knowing that it is going to hurt our feelings. It isn't healthy nor is it love to allow people in our lives to continue to do bad habits. You might be sparing feelings but in the long run, you are hurting them more than you could imagine.

Popular Right Now

10 Things Someone Who Grew Up In A Private School Knows

The 10 things that every private school-goer knows all too well.

24601
views

1. Uniforms

Plaid. The one thing that every private school-goer knows all too well. It was made into jumpers, skirts, shorts, scouts, hair ties, basically anything you could imagine, the school plaid was made into. You had many different options on what to wear on a normal day, but you always dreaded dress uniform day because of skirts and ballet flats. But it made waking up late for school a whole lot easier.

2. New people were a big deal

New people weren't a big thing. Maybe one or two a year to a grade, but after freshman year no one new really showed up, making the new kid a big deal.

3. You've been to school with most of your class since Kindergarten


Most of your graduating class has been together since Kindergarten, maybe even preschool, if your school has it. They've become part of your family, and you can honestly say you've grown up with your best friends.

4. You've had the same teachers over and over

Having the same teacher two or three years in a row isn't a real surprise. They know what you are capable of and push you to do your best.

5. Everyone knows everybody. Especially everyone's business.

Your graduating class doesn't exceed 150. You know everyone in your grade and most likely everyone in the high school. Because of this, gossip spreads like wildfire. So everyone knows what's going on 10 minutes after it happens.

6. Your hair color was a big deal

If it's not a natural hair color, then forget about it. No dyeing your hair hot pink or blue or you could expect a phone call to your parents saying you have to get rid of it ASAP.

7. Your school isn't like "Gossip Girl"

There is no eating off campus for lunch or casually using your cell phone in class. Teachers are more strict and you can't skip class or just walk right off of campus.

8. Sports are a big deal

Your school is the best of the best at most sports. The teams normally go to the state championships. The rest of the school that doesn't play sports attends the games to cheer on the teams.

9. Boys had to be clean-shaven, and hair had to be cut

If you came to school and your hair was not cut or your beard was not shaved, you were written up and made to go in the bathroom and shave or have the head of discipline cut your hair. Basically, if you know you're getting written up for hair, it's best just to check out and go get a hair cut.

10. Free dress days were like a fashion show

Wearing a school uniform every day can really drive you mad. That free dress day once a month is what you lived for. It was basically a fashion show for everyone, except for those upperclassmen who were over everything and just wore sweat pants.

Cover Image Credit: Authors Photos

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

For Your Best Girl Friend, Dump Your Boyfriend... I'm Bored

The best things about your girl friends.

29
views

Social media is so deceiving lately, always posting about relationship goals or get yourself a man like this. Honestly, I'm tired of it and why don't we hear more about our girls? LET'S BE REAL! It's hard to be absolutely yourself around a boy, for it takes some time to break down those walls and really get comfortable with each other.

Reflecting on my college life so far, All I can be really grateful for is my GIRLS! Here are the best things about having girlfriends!

1. NO TEXTING RULES!

There is always that unspoken rule or constant animosity when texting a boy. When it comes to girls, there are no rules. I always love waking up in the morning and texting my group chats to see who is either down for breakfast, a study session, or just to check in to make sure everyone is alive. You can text and little and as much as you want and not break a sweat.

2. Unconditional Love

Whenever I'm getting ready for a big interview or for a special event, I always look to my friends for approval. Not only do they know what's in my closet and may suggest a better clothing item they really care about putting my best foot forward and telling me if I look my best in whatever I choose to wear. Sometimes the truth is something people avoid to share because they are afraid to offend someone, but friends will love you no matter what and just want you to be happy.

3. Movie binge

I always love Friday nights. My friends and I have made little traditions of gaining out to dinner, getting our favorite snacks, and picking a movie or Netflix show to binge on. Usually, we all go off topic and get deep into conversation and dance around like complete fools, but these are the memories I will cherish the most about college.

4. Girls squads

Personally, I feel more confident when I am surrounded by my friends whoever we go out to have fun. When you share a common interest of either singing as loud as you can taking a good car ride or just need a dance partner that you can bust a move on the dance floor, having your friends by your side makes every night that much more fun.

5. The good and the bad

It would be a fairytale if friendships were always peaches, but reality is... girls have their fights. Sometimes usually it always surrounds little things because we spend so much time together. The important thing about having healthy friendships is being open and communicate how you feel. Usually, little things get resolved and life moves on. If it is not a fight between each other your friends are there for you when your down or just not feeling your best. We need each other through college to stay and finish strong.

6. The best side kick

Maybe it is just me, but I love when my friends are down for anything like going shopping, getting food, going to the gym, and getting nails done. My friends and I are so close you would think we are related and I am so happy to have such great gals in my life that push me to be the best person I can be!

Related Content

Facebook Comments