One expectation that should always be required of a friend is to tell you like it is, no matter how hard it is to hear. They should tell you when you are messing up, when you are lacking, when you are not doing enough and when you are wasting your life away by being stuck on bad habits. Often, your friends pick up a different side of you that your family doesn't always get to see. The side of you that messes up more often than not. The side of you that tends to be a little more reckless and uncaring. Which is fine, but we need people in our lives that do not sugarcoat things for us.
If you are wondering what I mean by "sugarcoating", I mean beating around the bush when it comes to telling someone they have a problem. For example, your friend has a few bad habits and you don't necessarily know how to handle them. Oh, is it their personality? Is it the way they were brought up? Or, "it's just who they are." Which, are all sorry excuses for someone to continue to ruin their lives or continue to hold onto bad habits. Sugarcoating does nothing but allow the other person to continue to do what they have always been doing. It's when you're being "too nice" for the sake of your friend's feelings. It's when you tell them that they are in the right when in reality, they are in the wrong. It's when you allow them to put blame on everything but themselves, or you encourage them to put blame on everyone but themselves.
And I get it, some people are not strong enough to tell other people what they are doing wrong. But this isn't okay. It doesn't always necessarily have to be something wrong, or something that might be hurting other people, it can just be something that is not healthy for them to continue to do. But people cannot grow if they don't see anything wrong with what they do wrong. Your friends will continue to stay in the same place and do the same thing if everyone around them is telling them that they are doing nothing wrong.
That's why you should stop sugarcoating shit for your friends. Your friends will keep doing circles in their life and forming bad habits because no one is telling them to stop. And I get that some people are hard-headed, that you have tried, but this doesn't mean stop trying. This doesn't mean start being nice to spare their feelings. We all have feelings and we all hate to hear the bad about us, but that is what we need. We need people in our lives to tell us to stop doing certain things or to stop ruining our lives. We need people in our lives that care enough to speak up knowing that it is going to hurt our feelings. It isn't healthy nor is it love to allow people in our lives to continue to do bad habits. You might be sparing feelings but in the long run, you are hurting them more than you could imagine.