For most, fall and winter bring some of the happiest times of the year. Holidays such as Thanksgiving and Christmas bring lots of celebration and joyfulness to an otherwise mundane year. This time of year is loved by PSL lovers, pumpkin patch enthusiasts and gift givers alike, but for others, this is not such a happy time.

For me, it all started around my tenth birthday.

Being a November baby, daylight savings always took place the week before my birthday. I would be sad as soon as November 1st hit for a reason my parents couldn't understand.

I always wished my birthday was in a summer month for the sole reason that it wouldn't be dark for dinner time. As I grew older this feeling became worse and worse until it consumed me for the majority of the fall and winter months.

Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D.) affects nearly 10 million Americans annually.

Although a large portion of adults are affected, the symptoms are not always the same. Some individuals suffer from severe depression and anxiety for months, while others may only have these symptoms sporadically.

Often times, those who suffer from this disorder are unsure whether these symptoms are seasonal or are signs of a more serious issue. In 2017, mental illness is a less stigmatized topic than in previous years. However, even with this newfound openness, many still aren't talking about S.A.D to their friends and family.

Since the majority of sufferers have the most intense symptoms during the fall and winter, it's difficult to express them without fearing that it may interfere with holiday festivities.

Personally, S.A.D is much like a game of tug-of-war between the disorder and my love of the holidays. In a time filled with so much to be thankful for, it's difficult to understand why I still feel anxious, depressed or even withdrawn from my day to day activities.

After disclosing my disorder to friends and families, it became apparent that those around me felt that any small thing would send me into a depressive state. One of the common misconceptions about S.A.D. is that it mimics other forms of anxiety or depression.

Personally, I feel that it is more manageable through sunlight exposure, exercise and self-care practices. Although every individual is different, the one type of treatment that doesn't help is being placed into a different category than everyone else.

Seasonal affective disorder is hard. It does affect individuals' work and personal lives and at times may become so severe it is incapacitating.

Even though it does instill negativity into the minds of those who suffer, positive interactions do go a long way.

Just because I suffer from S.A.D. doesn't mean that I am always sad. It doesn't mean that I don't enjoy spending the holidays surrounded by loved ones or that I don't enjoy the crispness of fall weather.

Through finding others who are also affected, I have learned to make the most of this time of year. My disorder doesn't define my capability to find happiness.