It’s a weird feeling being somewhere and just knowing that you’ll never have that feeling ever again in that same place, especially when it’s somewhere or something that you know so well and for so long.

Music has been a big part of my life for as long as I can remember. When I was just three years old, I joined the children’s choir at my church and have been singing ever since.

When I was eight, I decided to pick up playing the violin and played in my school’s orchestras up until the end of my junior year, and I even taught myself to play the piano, landing me a title of section leader in my school’s choir program.

I’ve been in so many concerts and sung so many songs that I couldn’t recount them all to you...even if I tried. It’s something that has brought me a lot of happiness in life. Getting to work as a group and make music is a feeling that I’ll cherish forever.

Last week I sang in my last high school choir concert EVER. I’m in two different choirs at my school, and there are some days where I’m in the choir room for four out of the nine periods in our school day.

Singing is really important to me, and this program has taught me a lot about who I am as a person and how to be a good leader and member of a group.

In the span of the few hours between when I got to the school for my concert, performed six different songs and left, I cried at least three different times.

I will admit, I’m an emotional person.

But, I kept having the realization that in those moments of warming up and performing with some of my best friends in the entire world, that was going to be the last time that we ever performed together like that, and it was the last time that I was going to have that excitement and those nerves of debuting new music with the people I love most.

I’m going to miss it a lot. Every single day for the past four years I’ve been in the choir room at least once. However, I honestly can’t wait for it to be over.

That’s not meant to be mean, and I’m not saying I don’t enjoy it. I do, but a little too much. Choir has taken up so much of my time.

I spent five months staying after school almost every day for at least two hours to help student direct our music, and because of that, I couldn’t work as much as I wanted to and I had to put other activities and clubs to the back burner.

I’ve taken countless trips with them, and I’ve skipped (too many) classes to go down to the different ensembles and spend time with them. As sad as I am to be leaving this program and these people that have become like my family for four years now, it’s time for me to move on.

Something or someone is going to come along and occupy my time. I’m going to college, and I’m going to be spending my time doing more writing and learning more about who I am without the safety cushion that music has always been to me.

It’s been my safe haven since I was three years old. I’m stepping out of the light, and now, I have to give someone else a turn to experience it. It was a good thing, but now it’s over, which is OK.

It’s hard to leave something that I’ve known for so long, but it’s a necessary change that I haven’t been ready to make in my life until now.