I Suck At Being A Girlfriend
Start writing a post
Relationships

I Suck At Being A Girlfriend

Worse than math.

2785
I Suck At Being A Girlfriend
Anna Mills

Normal girlfriends are cute and like to snuggle up on the couch with you and kill 4 seasons of Grey's Anatomy. They'll text you "Goodmorning, baby!" when they first wake up and "Goodnight, sugar lips!" when they head to sleep. Or maybe they don't say goodnight because they fall asleep texting you because they think you're so interesting that you're worth losing sleep over. They like to be told they're beautiful and you can't live without them and you love them so much. They cry when they're hurt and scream when they're mad. Normal girlfriends get jealous- so you know they care.

Me? Hell. No.

My "snuggling" is more like my body sprawled out over yours while you suffocate beneath me. If you ask me to sit on the couch for an entire day, I'll lose my mind. I like days where I can lay down at night and know that I'll never forget this day. I hate feeling like a day passed where I didn't make a memory.

I'll forget to text you until 6 p.m. and then call you in a panic because I want you to come somewhere with me and we have to be there in an hour. You definitely won't catch me calling you sugar lips. It'll be more along the lines of "weenie" or "loser" or "idiot".

If you tell me I'm beautiful, I get extremely uncomfortable. My chin sinks into my neck like a turtle and I'll manage to utter "thank you", except sometimes it comes out as "ew". And if you say you can't live without me, I'll give you a lecture on how that's not good. You should be emotionally stable on your own. When I'm hurt, I go into my shell. I don't fight or yell. I'm nearly impossible to read.

And I (almost) never get jealous. If you're going to cheat on me, go for it. Me being crazy or freaking out isn't going to stop you and why would I even want to try to stop you? You're a cheater- you're easily replaceable.

And arguably, the worst part about dating me is that I can't ever just "let the chips fall". I am blunt as hell. If I have a problem, you'll know exactly what it is and why I'm upset about it. I won't just sit and wait for the problem to fix itself or give you time to figure it out or give myself time to calm down. I'm more of a "shove the chips off the table and then see how they land" kind of girl. And that can be a lot to handle.

I'll never be the girl who rocks at being a girlfriend. I hate flowers and fancy dinners and surprises (I hate surprises). I'm terrible at acting like a normal person in public.

I'd rather go to a shady bar and sing karaoke with some old guy named Bubba until 3 A.M. than go to some steakhouse. And I'd rather you bring home something that reminded you of me than flowers. And I'd rather die than know I'm getting a surprise (I seriously, really, truly, hate surprises).

If I ever do get married (Lord help that man), it'll be because he's my best friend. It'll be more of "I have so much fun with this human" and less of "look at all these things he does for me/says to me!" I go on a ridiculous amount of adventures. I like to show people restaurants and cities and activities that I love and I love when people do the same for me. If I'm going to spend that many years with another human, I want to fill them with adventures- not compliments and gifts. I know that I'm not perfect and I don't want someone to act like I am.

That's really why I'm the worst. I won't let you act like I'm so great. I know I'm not. I know I'm too loud and talk too much and make a lot of mistakes and say things I shouldn't and I have difficulties talking about my feelings and I'm really bad at math- and lots of other stuff. If you deny my flaws, you aren't loving every piece of me and I'll call you out for it.

I don't want to be on a pedestal. I want to be a best friend.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Featured

Falling For Fall

Super Cute Home Decor and Food Ideas for the Autumn Season.

285
Jamie Cahoon

I don't know about you but Autumn is my favorite season of the year. The leaves are falling, the air is crisp and tops of the mountains begin to be sprinkled with snow. Being as I'm not Haloween's biggest fan, I love to decorate my home with super cute fall decorations. I have found 11 of the cutest DIY decor items that are both inexpensive and adorable. Ballin' on a college kids budget makes for fun craft nights instead of buying the items at a ridiculous mass produced price.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

Slavery Was NOT Abolished

Jeevti from Pakistan would like to tell you so herself.

1562
Standard.net

Unfortunately, at this time of year, we tend to overlook how incredibly blessed we are. We live in a free world, where we should not have to fear being penalized for our gender, sexual orientation, beliefs, or values. This is a fact we take for granted; in many other countries, simply being born female makes you an immediate target.

Keep Reading... Show less
Melisa Im

My Ethnicity

Hispanic is not a race... it’s an ethnicity. The term Hispanic describes a group of people whose common thread is language and/or culture. I’m a Hispanic woman born in Argentina to Korean parents. I self-identify as Hispanic/Latina and my personal experiences can’t be summarized by the color of my skin or the languages on my tongue. That is because every single person in the universe has a unique experience. Whether someone labels me as Korean or Argentine or American, that will never change my experiences as a Spanish speaker, immigrant, child of divorced parents, Californian, college graduate (Go Bears!), omnivore, writer, or any other label I choose for myself.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

When In Nashville

Here's some things you could do.

4947
Kaitlyn Wells

I have had the opportunity to visit so many places in my lifetime, and recently one of those places was Nashville, Tennessee. There is so much to do and see in Nashville but here are some of my favorites that I would highly recommend.

Keep Reading... Show less
Your Work Week As Told By Michael Scott And Stanley Hudson

"The Office" is basically the best American TV show created in the past 15 years (you can fight me on this). And through all its hilarity and cringe-worthy "that would never happen in real life" moments, the show really does have a lot of relatable themes, as can be seen by the little compilation I put together of Michael Scott and Stanley Hudson.

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments