I wrote this to educate.

It was February 29^th, 2016. I decided I wanted to go to Walmart to get some alcohol. Senior year in college was no joke and sometimes that meant a little relaxation. I get in my car, drive to Walmart, make my purchase, and then head back to campus.

Suddenly, as I’m driving up the street, I see red and blue lights shining in my rear view mirror. As I begin to slow down and pull over on the side of the road, my heart is racing. I see the shadow of the officer coming closer to me. The glare from the flashlight shines on my driver’s seat window.

He informs me that I ran a red light and I was speeding. He asks for my insurance. I tell him I need to grab it from my console. I search and search and I can’t find it. He proceeds to tell me to get out of my car. I get out slowly. I’m wearing a polo shirt, khaki pants, and tennis shoes. I move slowly and do what he says because if I refuse, he’ll feel threatened and will have to use force. I stand there. His flashlight shining in my face.

He then begins to question where I was coming from, where I went to school, what I was studying, and what I wanted to be. I’m thinking, am I being interrogated?

As he is searching my car, other cars pass by and here I stand in embarrassment. I’m thinking, “this isn’t fair. If I were white and male, I would have never been asked to step out of my car. I would not have been asked a bunch of random questions. I would have been given a ticket and been on my way.” But how do I know right?

I go back to the thought of what would have happened if I had spoken up. All the officer had to do was feel “threatened” and he would have reason enough to retaliate. I’m standing right in front of him. My heart is pounding. I felt powerless. I felt like a criminal.

Finally, he gave me my ticket. I drove home with a stone face. I couldn’t even believe what I experienced. I had seen the news of what had happened when police officers stop Black males. I had been given “the talk” Black parents give their kids just to “do what the cop says”. I was so confused by the experience; I barely slept that night because of the humiliation.

It’s a hard topic to discuss, but something that needs to be examined. I was very confused and had a hard time make sense of it. I guess I wasn’t expecting to be asked all of those questions and immediately thought “does this happen to everyone?”

I agree on the fact that I was speeding and ran a red light, so I deserved the ticket. However, I don’t know too many white people that are asked to step out the car for a speeding ticket. Whatever happened to “put your hands on the wheel so I can see them?” When this happens to Black men, this fear becomes automatic. Yes everyone gets pulled over but recent events have shown the same outcome for Black men. I can’t guarantee white males don’t get treated this way. I can’t say if I were a white male if it would be different.

But it is a thought.