Study Reveals That Millennials Lack Relationship Skills And Confidence

Study Reveals That Millennials Lack Relationship Skills And Confidence

With the takeover of social media, millennials seem to be losing the ability to date as well as hold high self-esteem.
4848
views

These days, the word “millennial” has many negative connotations attached to it. This generation of young adults were born into a world of technology, social media, and speedy devices that can satisfy an array of needs in the palm of one’s hand. Many complain that the millennial generation has lost the ability to interact with others around them face to face. With apps like Tinder, Instagram, Facebook, and an array of other outlets, thousands of college students are able to swipe through and accept or deny other singles around them based on their physical appeal.

This information leads many to ask, “are millennials losing the ability to hold steady relationships?” Is our distance between one another, our isolation and lack of real conversation, diminishing dating? The college “hookup culture” is a major factor of social life on most campuses. If a student isn't browsing for a person to “talk to" through apps on their phone, they maybe instead drinking in a party setting to find a new hookup partner.

When many millennials do eventually find a person that might be worth trying a relationship with, many report getting stuck in a limbo often referred to as the “talking phase.” In this phase, one or both of the individuals in the relationship likes the other person but does not want to commit to them completely. In other words, they want to continue an emotional relationship but also have the ability to hookup with others. It seems as though millennials are not just lacking the ability to make real conversation and meet others through pure human interaction, but lack the desire to have a committed relationship. Does this speak for all millennials? Do we all want to run the other way when commitment comes around?

I wanted to learn more about how millennials were really feeling about relationships and dating. I surveyed over 200 college students, both male and female, ages 18 to 22. What I found suggested that millennials are in fact isolating themselves behind phone screens and finding it difficult to establish meaningful connections with others. 95 percent of students I surveyed reported that they find it difficult to find a relationship. When it comes to looking for a partner, the students' two most common methods were through social media apps like Tinder and Snapchat or by social events that involved drinking. 82 percent stated that they were okay with casual hookup partners and 95 percent felt that it was easier to talk to a possible partner when drunk.

What do all of these numbers suggest about millennials? On the surface, it seems as though we are uncommitted, unable to hold real conversations, and too reliant on our digital devices to guide us through life. And there is more...

Millennials may be relying on social media to misrepresent who they are in an effort to find a date. 89 percent of those surveyed said they used social media accounts to make themselves more attractive to possible partners. But how is this making them feel? When I asked how social media impacted these students emotionally, the most common responses were that social media made them feel “insecure,” “pressured to be perfect,” and “anxious.” And while many are casually hooking up, lacking emotional depth or connection, 75 percent of those that were single reported that they wished they could find a real relationship. Out of all surveyed, 95 percent said that their ideal situation in the future was a lifelong, committed relationship.

While these statistics do show that us millennials are not as commitment-phobic as many claim, we have other flaws that need fixing. It seems as though millennials are masking the desire for connection and relationships with quick fixes like drinking, social media interactions, and “no strings attached” relationships. We are filtering out our insecurities, posting for attention, and making thousands of followers think we are not alone. Instead of gathering together the courage to talk to the cute girl in our class, we are “swiping left and right” on Tinder based on a simple picture and short bio.

So how do we fix this? How do we stop making shallow, short judgements on someone that could actually have been “the one?” The answer is not easy but we can look to our older generations for some guidance. The video "Look Up" directed by Gary Turk delves into this problem.

Look at the amazing relationships that have come out of meeting people organically. We need to stop relying on “likes” and “matches” as a fuel for our self-esteem. Find passions that make you feel whole outside of a screen and engage in activities with like-minded groups of people that make you feel great as you are. Start dating (yes, I mean go out on a real date. Maybe to a movie, with just you two) instead of taking shots together in a crowded bar. The best relationships start as friendships, out of respect and trust, not over a Snapchat conversation.

Most importantly, stay true to yourself. If you keep coming up short with the same types of partners, try changing up your environment. If you have a hobby, look for others with that hobby. If you find yourself relying on the number of likes on a recent post for a mood booster, take a break from social media. If you spend too much time with your head down in a screen of apps and thousands of strangers online, try looking up before you miss out on someone great that just passed you by. We as a generation can do better when it comes to love, dating, and our own self happiness.

Cover Image Credit: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/12190368/No-sex-please-were-teenagers.html

Popular Right Now

To Everyone Who Hasn't Had Sex Yet, Wait For Marriage, It's The Right Move

If you have not had sex yet, wait.

91828
views

Premarital sex is not a new concept, no matter how much people like to pretend it is. You can trace scripture and historical texts back thousands of year to see that lust and fornication have been a problem since… well, since we humans have been problems.

They tell you in sex ed that sex causes you to form a bond with someone. They throw some big chemical names at you that are apparently in your body and cause that emotional attachment to happen, then you move on (or back to) how important condoms are and why STDs are so scary.

As a middle schooler or teenager, you can't understand what it means to become permanently connected to someone as a result of a quick, physical act.

If you haven't even had your first kiss, you really can't imagine what it's like to develop such a complex and intimate connection with someone because you have yet to feel the butterflies in your stomach from a kiss. So you really don't know what it's like to have a whole different type of feeling in your stomach.

You never forget your first love. It's one of the most cliche things you consistently hear, but it's true. Ask anyone. I guarantee your parents can still spurt out their first love's name in a few seconds. And most people never forget their first time. I know all my friends can recount that often awkward and slightly terrifying moment as if it happened an hour ago. When you mix those two, especially if you are in your teens, oh boy.

You never forget that. No matter how hard you try.

Everything you hear about sex is true: it's amazing, fantastic, life-changing, etc. There's a reason people have done it as frequently as they do, for as long as they have. But every time you sleep with someone, you leave a piece of yourself with them. Every time you choose to take that final physical step with someone, you cannot go back and collect that piece of your dignity and soul that you left with someone.

So, imagine what happens when you break up with someone you've slept with. Or that you just hooked up with. You have given someone a little slice of yourself forever. And you can never get it back. And imagine what happens when you do that multiple times. You give a piece of yourself to five, 10, 15, 20 or more people. Then you meet the person that you want to spend forever with. And you no longer have that whole part of you. You've given pieces away, and you can no longer give those to the love of your life.

So, save those pieces for your future spouse.

If you have not had sex yet, wait. If you have, consider not giving more pieces of yourself away to people who are not your spouse. Sex was created to be between two spouses, nobody else. So we need to try to maintain its integrity.

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

15 Winter Dates For Couples Who'd Rather Snuggle Indoors Than Step Foot Outside

Do I wanna build a snowman? Uhhhh NO!

71
views

Christmas time in New England can get pretty damn cold. I mean, we do have a few warm days, but for the most part, it's cold, windy, and sometimes snowy out. Now, if you're anything like me and you don't like the cold, typical Christmas dates might not be for you, but luckily there's plenty of cute dates that don't involve venturing out in the freezing abyss.

So get your hot chocolate, eggnog, ugly sweaters and festive pajamas ready because here are 15 fun winter dates that don't involve you and your partner leaving the house at all.

1. Ginger bread house competition

2. Classic Christmas movie marathon

3. Hallmark movie marathon

Only because my boyfriend's mom LOVES them.

4. Okay so really just any Christmas movie marathon.

SANTAAAAAA

5. Making Christmas ornaments

6. Paper snowflake making competition

7. Baking and decorating (and eating!) Christmas cookies

8. Dance around to Christmas music

9. Make each other a new stocking

10. Write a letter to Santa

Super silly but super cute.

11. Take cute Christmas pictures

Giphy

Perfect time for those ugly Christmas sweaters or Christmas pajamas.

12. Decorate the Christmas tree

And you know the rest of the inside of the house.

13. Wrap presents together

14. Hang a mistletoe and kiss under it

15. Stay up tracking Santa

Don't forget to leave milk and cookies out for him, and carrots out for the reindeer.

Related Content

Facebook Comments