Study Reveals That Millennials Lack Relationship Skills And Confidence

Study Reveals That Millennials Lack Relationship Skills And Confidence

With the takeover of social media, millennials seem to be losing the ability to date as well as hold high self-esteem.

These days, the word “millennial” has many negative connotations attached to it. This generation of young adults were born into a world of technology, social media, and speedy devices that can satisfy an array of needs in the palm of one’s hand. Many complain that the millennial generation has lost the ability to interact with others around them face to face. With apps like Tinder, Instagram, Facebook, and an array of other outlets, thousands of college students are able to swipe through and accept or deny other singles around them based on their physical appeal.

This information leads many to ask, “are millennials losing the ability to hold steady relationships?” Is our distance between one another, our isolation and lack of real conversation, diminishing dating? The college “hookup culture” is a major factor of social life on most campuses. If a student isn't browsing for a person to “talk to" through apps on their phone, they maybe instead drinking in a party setting to find a new hookup partner.

When many millennials do eventually find a person that might be worth trying a relationship with, many report getting stuck in a limbo often referred to as the “talking phase.” In this phase, one or both of the individuals in the relationship likes the other person but does not want to commit to them completely. In other words, they want to continue an emotional relationship but also have the ability to hookup with others. It seems as though millennials are not just lacking the ability to make real conversation and meet others through pure human interaction, but lack the desire to have a committed relationship. Does this speak for all millennials? Do we all want to run the other way when commitment comes around?

I wanted to learn more about how millennials were really feeling about relationships and dating. I surveyed over 200 college students, both male and female, ages 18 to 22. What I found suggested that millennials are in fact isolating themselves behind phone screens and finding it difficult to establish meaningful connections with others. 95 percent of students I surveyed reported that they find it difficult to find a relationship. When it comes to looking for a partner, the students' two most common methods were through social media apps like Tinder and Snapchat or by social events that involved drinking. 82 percent stated that they were okay with casual hookup partners and 95 percent felt that it was easier to talk to a possible partner when drunk.

What do all of these numbers suggest about millennials? On the surface, it seems as though we are uncommitted, unable to hold real conversations, and too reliant on our digital devices to guide us through life. And there is more...

Millennials may be relying on social media to misrepresent who they are in an effort to find a date. 89 percent of those surveyed said they used social media accounts to make themselves more attractive to possible partners. But how is this making them feel? When I asked how social media impacted these students emotionally, the most common responses were that social media made them feel “insecure,” “pressured to be perfect,” and “anxious.” And while many are casually hooking up, lacking emotional depth or connection, 75 percent of those that were single reported that they wished they could find a real relationship. Out of all surveyed, 95 percent said that their ideal situation in the future was a lifelong, committed relationship.

While these statistics do show that us millennials are not as commitment-phobic as many claim, we have other flaws that need fixing. It seems as though millennials are masking the desire for connection and relationships with quick fixes like drinking, social media interactions, and “no strings attached” relationships. We are filtering out our insecurities, posting for attention, and making thousands of followers think we are not alone. Instead of gathering together the courage to talk to the cute girl in our class, we are “swiping left and right” on Tinder based on a simple picture and short bio.

So how do we fix this? How do we stop making shallow, short judgements on someone that could actually have been “the one?” The answer is not easy but we can look to our older generations for some guidance. The video "Look Up" directed by Gary Turk delves into this problem.

Look at the amazing relationships that have come out of meeting people organically. We need to stop relying on “likes” and “matches” as a fuel for our self-esteem. Find passions that make you feel whole outside of a screen and engage in activities with like-minded groups of people that make you feel great as you are. Start dating (yes, I mean go out on a real date. Maybe to a movie, with just you two) instead of taking shots together in a crowded bar. The best relationships start as friendships, out of respect and trust, not over a Snapchat conversation.

Most importantly, stay true to yourself. If you keep coming up short with the same types of partners, try changing up your environment. If you have a hobby, look for others with that hobby. If you find yourself relying on the number of likes on a recent post for a mood booster, take a break from social media. If you spend too much time with your head down in a screen of apps and thousands of strangers online, try looking up before you miss out on someone great that just passed you by. We as a generation can do better when it comes to love, dating, and our own self happiness.

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A Letter To My Best Friend's Future Husband

You're marrying me, too.

Dear BFF's future hubby,

First of all, congratulations. You've caught one of the sweetest, most beautiful fish in the sea. But I don't need to tell you this. You already know she's a dime plus ninety-nine. Wifing her up is definitely the best decision you've ever made. Our girl (yes, she's mine too) is one of a kind. She's strong, smart and unbelievably caring. Her standards are pretty darn high, so you must be quite the man. If I had to guess, I'd say you're very tall and very handsome. You probably also dress extremely well and drive a nice car. Most importantly, though, I'm sure you're an awesome person who treats my best friend like the princess she is. Now that you two have tied the knot, there are a few things we should get straight.

You married me too.

Sorry to break it to you, but her and I are a package deal. Lucky for you, I rock so this is no biggie. You can expect daily phone calls and multiple visits throughout the week. Some of these visits may result in sleepovers, and some of these sleepovers may be in your bed. Deal with it. You'll learn to love me (almost) as much as you love her.

I'll be your go-to girl.

If you ever need advice or anything of the sort, I got you. I know this girl better than 99% of people so I'll be your main source of info until you reach my level of expertise. It's likely that I played a big part in planning out your engagement so you probably already know how good I am at this kind of stuff. If she's ever upset, call me up and I'll I'll tell you how screwed up and give and how to fix it. If you want to know how to surprise her, I'm your gal. Of course, all of this will be our little secret. You can take full credit for any of the ideas I give you.

If you hurt her, I'll cut your you-know-what off.

I know you won't, but this is something I'm kind of required to say.

I'm so glad she met you.

This is the most important thing I want you to know. I can only imagine how incredibly happy you make my best friend. She doesn't fall in love with just anybody, so I know you're special. You're the one. I can finally stop pretending to be her lesbian girlfriend when creepy guys hit on her at the bar. So thank you. Thank for making her laugh until she cries, for constantly reminding her of her effortless beauty, and for never saying "no" to the pair of shoes she wants. Thank you for proving me right all of those times I promised her there was a guy out there worth marrying.

I can't wait to meet you!


Your future best friend-in-law

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5 Places Locals Love That Tourists Ignore When Visiting Nashville, TN

Stop going to hipster places and see Nashville for what it really is.


Living close to Nashville I know about many places that locals prefer that many tourist ignore when they visit Nashville. Going to the bars on Broadway is fun or getting a Sprinkles cupcake out of their ATM is also a good time, but there is so much more to Nashville than just that. There's plenty of parks, restaurants, and local attractions that many tourist don't know about or don't think is worth their time. Here are a few that i personally enjoy or hope to enjoy on my next visit home.

1. Love Circle

Meghan O'Brien for OIYS

If you are looking for a spot that is a little on the romantic side then Love Circle is a must at sunset or sunrise. This is located near Vanderbilt University overlooking downtown Nashville, which is the perfect spot for a morning coffee or a romantic picnic. This spot is considered Nashville's version of a Lover's Lane. This can be reached by a drive up a steep hill.

2. Bicentennial Park

If you're into history then the WWII Memorial in Bicentennial Park is a great place to visit. The main reason for this one is because the globe is 18,000 pounds of granite that sits on top of a fountain. Not only does it sit on the water but it also rotates freely. This monument was built in the 90's and depicts all of the places Tennesseans fought during the war. This location has more to offer than just this monument, it also has a farmers market, food court, and other historic facts about Tennessee.

3. RCA Studio B

This is one of the most iconic studios out of the many Nashville has to offer, because this is the exact studio Elvis Presley recorded over 200 songs. This studio is located on Music Row in downtown. An interesting fact about the studio is Elvis requested them to hang Christmas lights in July to feel inspired while creating his first holiday album that show cased his famous song "Blue Christmas". This place one place has so much history that its worth a trip while in Nashville.

4. #1 Bathroom in America at the Hermitage Hotel

This is a 1930's style mens restroom, but don't worry ladies due to its fame anyone is allowed to take a look inside. This bathroom is so notorious that Elvis and JFK both got their shoes shined in those very chairs. It may seem weird to ogle over a bathroom, but the luxurious style helped it claim its throne at the top. If it makes it more appealing to visit I'll just add it was given the #1 title multiple times nit just once.

5. Pedal Taverns

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to pedal a bike and drink at the same time? Well you can find out by taking a ride on one of Nashville's many pedal taverns it has to offer. I know that Nashville isn't the only place to do this, but they do have multiple to choose from even one that looks a boat you just ride on. I mean the drinks keep flowing as long as you're pedaling so might as well just ride on of these bad boys. Although you will have to fight for a seat against bachelorettes, it will be worth your time.

Nashville has so much more to offer than just these five things, but these are either staples or people just don't really know about them. Either way they are all worth the time for most tourist to visit (Yes even visiting a restroom can be worth your time). Before visiting Nashville do the research and stop going to all of the hipster places and see Nashville for what it really is which is. The truth is Downtown Nashville is kind of like a little big town, it's all crammed into a small space but is also connected to many other suburbs that also have a lot to offer and are close enough to visit while staying in Nashville.

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