Study Reveals That Millennials Lack Relationship Skills And Confidence

Study Reveals That Millennials Lack Relationship Skills And Confidence

With the takeover of social media, millennials seem to be losing the ability to date as well as hold high self-esteem.
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These days, the word “millennial” has many negative connotations attached to it. This generation of young adults were born into a world of technology, social media, and speedy devices that can satisfy an array of needs in the palm of one’s hand. Many complain that the millennial generation has lost the ability to interact with others around them face to face. With apps like Tinder, Instagram, Facebook, and an array of other outlets, thousands of college students are able to swipe through and accept or deny other singles around them based on their physical appeal.

This information leads many to ask, “are millennials losing the ability to hold steady relationships?” Is our distance between one another, our isolation and lack of real conversation, diminishing dating? The college “hookup culture” is a major factor of social life on most campuses. If a student isn't browsing for a person to “talk to" through apps on their phone, they maybe instead drinking in a party setting to find a new hookup partner.

When many millennials do eventually find a person that might be worth trying a relationship with, many report getting stuck in a limbo often referred to as the “talking phase.” In this phase, one or both of the individuals in the relationship likes the other person but does not want to commit to them completely. In other words, they want to continue an emotional relationship but also have the ability to hookup with others. It seems as though millennials are not just lacking the ability to make real conversation and meet others through pure human interaction, but lack the desire to have a committed relationship. Does this speak for all millennials? Do we all want to run the other way when commitment comes around?

I wanted to learn more about how millennials were really feeling about relationships and dating. I surveyed over 200 college students, both male and female, ages 18 to 22. What I found suggested that millennials are in fact isolating themselves behind phone screens and finding it difficult to establish meaningful connections with others. 95 percent of students I surveyed reported that they find it difficult to find a relationship. When it comes to looking for a partner, the students' two most common methods were through social media apps like Tinder and Snapchat or by social events that involved drinking. 82 percent stated that they were okay with casual hookup partners and 95 percent felt that it was easier to talk to a possible partner when drunk.

What do all of these numbers suggest about millennials? On the surface, it seems as though we are uncommitted, unable to hold real conversations, and too reliant on our digital devices to guide us through life. And there is more...

Millennials may be relying on social media to misrepresent who they are in an effort to find a date. 89 percent of those surveyed said they used social media accounts to make themselves more attractive to possible partners. But how is this making them feel? When I asked how social media impacted these students emotionally, the most common responses were that social media made them feel “insecure,” “pressured to be perfect,” and “anxious.” And while many are casually hooking up, lacking emotional depth or connection, 75 percent of those that were single reported that they wished they could find a real relationship. Out of all surveyed, 95 percent said that their ideal situation in the future was a lifelong, committed relationship.

While these statistics do show that us millennials are not as commitment-phobic as many claim, we have other flaws that need fixing. It seems as though millennials are masking the desire for connection and relationships with quick fixes like drinking, social media interactions, and “no strings attached” relationships. We are filtering out our insecurities, posting for attention, and making thousands of followers think we are not alone. Instead of gathering together the courage to talk to the cute girl in our class, we are “swiping left and right” on Tinder based on a simple picture and short bio.

So how do we fix this? How do we stop making shallow, short judgements on someone that could actually have been “the one?” The answer is not easy but we can look to our older generations for some guidance. The video "Look Up" directed by Gary Turk delves into this problem.

Look at the amazing relationships that have come out of meeting people organically. We need to stop relying on “likes” and “matches” as a fuel for our self-esteem. Find passions that make you feel whole outside of a screen and engage in activities with like-minded groups of people that make you feel great as you are. Start dating (yes, I mean go out on a real date. Maybe to a movie, with just you two) instead of taking shots together in a crowded bar. The best relationships start as friendships, out of respect and trust, not over a Snapchat conversation.

Most importantly, stay true to yourself. If you keep coming up short with the same types of partners, try changing up your environment. If you have a hobby, look for others with that hobby. If you find yourself relying on the number of likes on a recent post for a mood booster, take a break from social media. If you spend too much time with your head down in a screen of apps and thousands of strangers online, try looking up before you miss out on someone great that just passed you by. We as a generation can do better when it comes to love, dating, and our own self happiness.

Cover Image Credit: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/12190368/No-sex-please-were-teenagers.html

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10 Things I Threw Out AFTER Freshman Year Of College

Guess half the stuff on your packing list doesn't really matter
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I spent the entire summer before my freshman year of college so WORRIED.

I also spent most of my money that summer on miscellaneous dorm stuff. I packed the car when the time finally came to move in, and spent the drive up excited and confused about what the heck was actually going on.

Freshman year came and went, and as I get ready to go back to school in just a few short weeks (!!), I'm starting to realize there's just a whole bunch of crap I just don't need.

After freshman year, I threw out:

1. Half my wardrobe.

I don't really know what I was thinking of owning 13 sweaters and 25 T-shirts in the first place. I wear the same five T-shirts until I magically find a new one that I probably got for free, and I put on jeans maybe four times. One pair is enough.

2. Half my makeup.

Following in the theme of #1, if I put on makeup, it's the same eyeliner-mascara combination as always. Sometimes I spice it up and add lipstick or eyeshadow.

3. My vacuum.

https://secure.img1-ag.wfcdn.com/im/d5ea3c03/resize-h2000-p1-w2000%5Ecompr-r85/3021/30217778/Express+6+Volt+Cordless+Bagless+Handheld+Vacuum.jpg

One, I basically never did it. Two, if I REALLY needed to vacuum, dorms rent out cleaning supplies.

4. Most of my photos from high school.

I didn't throw them ALL away, but most of them won't be making a return to college. Things change, people change, your friends change. And that's okay.

5. Excess school supplies.

Binders are heavy and I am lazy. I surprisingly didn't lose that many pens, so I don't need the fifty pack anymore. I could probably do without the crayons.

6. Cups/Plates/Bowls/Silverware.

Again, I am lazy. I cannot be bothered to wash dishes that often. I'll stick to water bottles and maybe one coffee cup. Paper plates/bowls can always be bought, and plastic silverware can always be stolen from different places on campus.

7. Books.

I love to read, but I really don't understand why I thought I'd have the time to actually do it. I think I read one book all year, and that's just a maybe.

8. A sewing kit.

I don't even know how to sew.

9. Excessive decorations.

It's nice to make your space feel a little more cozy, but not every inch of the wall needs to be covered.

10. Throw pillows.

At night, these cute little pillows just got tossed to the floor, and they'd sit there for days if I didn't make my bed.

Cover Image Credit: Tumblr

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Yet Another Reason To Never Set Foot In College Station, TX

Part 1 of a 2 part adventure in College Station

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After that night with Cesar, Mallory and I settled down a bit. We went out of course, but we were just us doing the usual, going out, having fun, making little memories that we can cherish on our personal time. Nothing too significant happened between the time of our experience with Cesar, and what I'm about to explain next.

So, long ago, way back when, UT and TAMU had once been CRAZY rivals. The ultimate Texas rivalry was something that most people would call iconic, historical, and of course traditional, which explains why now that the rivalry is gone, TAMU continues to be obsessed with us *cough* *cough*, but that's beside the point. The point here is that even though we were considered enemies by tradition, I still had very close friends that went to TAMU, which brings me to my reasons as to why Mallory, Cesar, and I made our way down to Yee Haw central. Here's where you can grab a snack and make yourself comfortable because of this story...WHEW CHILE...this story is a wild ride. (get it because they ride horses to class lmao).

It all began when one of my close girlfriends had been sad for a MINUTE over a guy. Her name is Cristal, she's smart, so determined, and when I say she's the most driven person I know I mean it to the highest of standards. She just so happened to go to college with an old ex of hers which, at times made things difficult as it would for anyone. Talking to Cristal and Cesar, and after realizing how much we all really needed to see each other together; Cesar decided that we would go to College station to visit Cristal. We decided this about the beginning of the week, so plans were changing constantly. We had planned to stay overnight, then last minute plans changed where we would come back the same night.

So fast forward to the day, we left to College Station. That day was interesting, we had originally planned on leaving early to get there a little early, but things changed. Cesar was driving, which from Austin, College Station is about 2 hours away. He picked us up around 6:45 pm and we didn't leave Austin until 7ish, mainly because Mallory was dying of hunger, so we had to make a stop at the nearest Whataburger. So finally, after we made it through the long line, we finally were on the way. The drive didn't feel too long and was very scenic. There were trees everywhere, so coming from the city and good cell service to trees and 1 bar E network was different, but all in all, it was a good drive! We made it to Cristal's dormitory and parked around 9-9:30ish, where we then headed up to her room. Now, Mallory and I had the bright idea to ware nothing but Longhorn gear on this campus and create a vlog for our YouTube channel on how the night would go. It wasn't until actually making it on campus and walking around in burnt orange EVERYTHING, that we had realized the bold move we had made. AGGIES HATE THE COLOR ORANGE! Let that be known! And they oddly love making this hissing noise, maybe someone should talk to them about that because it's actually kinda weird.

Anyways, after filming a bit of footage for our Vlog in her room and catching up a bit, Cristal decided to take us to the famous Northgate. Northgate is the Equivalent to our sixth street. Northgate just so happens to also be the only place in college station that students have to party at, eat at, shop at, etc. She took us to this super country burger bar, where we got harassed continuously for wearing and ROCKING I might add, our burnt orange gear. Eventually sitting and talking, we had concluded that the night was young, and we wanted to go out, so Cristal told us she would take us to this bar/club known as Shiner. It's apparently the place to be if you are a student, like to dance, and just have fun.

We had to walk back to Cristal's room so she could get ready to go out. While on our way back Dick had texted us that he was on his way to College Station as well to meet up with an old friend of his. We really do live in a small world, let me tell you because turns out this "old friend" was someone Mallory and I had gone to middle school with, someone who had already hit me up on snap saying we should all go out together in College Station since we were there. We hadn't put two and two together that this was the guy that Dick was talking about, until Dick mentioned his name, Rich. Rich is the last name that everyone calls him, and he is a first-year student at TAMU. He's honest, kind, humble, a die-hard country fan and a good country dancer at that. He's also the kind of guy that is so laid back that you cannot have a bad time with him, ever. After concluding that Dick and Rich had already known each other, we had told them we would be down to all go out together as a group, so eventually, after Cristal had finished getting ready, we met up with them and went to Rich's room to pregame.

Mallory and I didn't really drink much but a sip, while everyone else was drinking on various things. Cristal took a few sips of a drink to try it, but since it was her first time drinking anything, it low-key hit her LIGHTLY. After we had finished drinking, we headed out. On our way there, Rich was trying to teach Cristal and me how to hit a Juul, which was horrible because we did NOT know what we were doing, which led to us wasting a large amount of the pod.

We got to Shiner Park and one by one we made our way in, however, Dicks dumbass got caught using his fake by the bouncer at the door. So, after we handled that situation, we headed straight to the dance floor. Mallory and I danced country for the first time, got hissed at by multiple aggies, and made new friends. The night was filled with fun. Cristal enjoyed herself, for Cesar it was a new experience, and for us, it was a new form of fun, fun we never really had experienced before.

After the bar began to close, we headed out to find somewhere to eat. It was around 2 am when the bar closed, and we were searching for someplace open to catch a bite to eat. We finally found a McDonalds, where we wasted another hour waiting for our food and eating. Eventually, we had taken Cristal back to her room. She felt better after dancing off her buzz and eating something. She led us back to her room, where we left her at the entrance of her dormitory. The time now was about 3:30ish, and we looked at Cesar and he decided that we were still going to drive back to Austin at this time. Yes, I know, we're CRAZY. So, we piled up in his car and started our way back.

I fell asleep for the majority of the drive back and woke up around 5 am to go into my room. We walked in and immediately knocked out. Val had to work the next morning so naturally, we woke up around 11 am, When the phone rang. It was Dick and Rich. They called to talk about a recap of the night, something that has become a tradition with us. And then they said IT. They said the magic words that when said to Mallory, you instantly knew things were going to get interesting. They uttered the words, "Come to College Station tonight…YOU'RE NOT DOWN". After that was said, Mallory looked over at me, giving me the look, she gives when she has something up her sleeve. And by 9 pm that night, the same day we were on our way back to College Station. Stay tuned for the rest…

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