We all do it.
In this age of superficiality and constant connection, we are plagued by determining people at face-value and relying on what is posted on social media to deeper understand a person.
People thrive on posting the very best, most picture-perfect moments of their lives - after a bunch of editing, as well as thoughtful debate on what to make the caption, of course. The number of likes constitutes their, as well as our own, self-worth.
"She got 300 likes and I only got 120, I must be uglier/less popular than her."
"Wow, they're such a cute couple, why can't I find a perfect boyfriend."
"He's always doing such fun stuff while all I do is sit at home."
What we forget to mention to ourselves is that this highlight roll of their lives - whether it be Snapchat stories or Instagram feeds - is exactly that:
A HIGHLIGHT ROLL.
And we end up blindly comparing our worst moments to their absolute best!
We fail to realize that behind the scenes of that one perfect picture, there were 30 other snaps of the same pose, a fight between the two friends in the photo, the boredom they actually felt at that event, or the fact they may have felt self-conscious themselves, though they look confident in the photo.
Very few people actually post the things truly happening in their lives...
How often do you scroll through your Instagram feed and see a non-edited, blurry photo of the girl that sits next to you in criminal justice, waiting three hours for that boy to call her back?
Or how about a photo of the cellulite on someone's thighs that says "I didn't go swimming with my friends today because of this." (Unless you're a boy... you can go ahead and swap cellulite with not having enough chest hair or something. I'm not sure what goes on in men's brains quite honestly.)
It just does not happen.
These are very real things that I am almost positive you, the person reading this, have also gone through at some point in your life, most likely many times over.
You are not alone.
...and here's what I want you to do:
1. Close your eyes and paint a mental picture of that one person you may be comparing yourself to.
Does he or she get good grades? Have good hair? In a relationship? Whatever it may be that sparks your envy, visualize it.
Got it? Good.
I want you to know that the visualization you just made of that one person you compare yourself to - whether it be because you love them, hate them, look up to them, or want to be them -
that visualization is totally fake.
It is flat and unrealistic.
And I promise you, people are doing that same thing, only with you as the basis of their mental picture.
2. I want you to close your eyes yet again, only this time picture yourself.
The twist is this visual picture is not going to be a self-portrait...
I want you to paint a picture of you from someone else's viewpoint. And I want this person to, hypothetically, love you. Get into detail, look at your physical appearance, your talents, personality traits, everything. Use what you may think are your weaknesses and turn them into strengths.
You hate your curly hair?
Well, this person admires the way your hair dries naturally.
Wish you were skinnier?
This person wishes they had curves the way you do.
You think you're too shy?
You're lucky because you can be okay with staying in on the weekends. This person feels like they get too caught up in the social scene.
Do you really suck at sports?
Good for you, people don't like you only because you're a football player.
(Lol, that last one may only be applicable at TCU, but I am sure there are jersey-chasers elsewhere, too)
Okay, the point is, everyone compares themselves to everyone, but each person is beautiful exactly the way they are.
I know it is cliche, but if everyone was alike, this world would be a boring and miserable place.
Your friends love you because you are weird in your own way.
Your future boyfriend will love you because you are different than the rest.
But more than anything, you should love yourself more than anybody.
You are a work of art, specifically made with your personality, your strengths and weaknesses, your brain. You are the way you are because you are meant to be in this world, to affect it the way no one else possibly could.
If you were any different, think of the chain reaction that would go off and how many lives would be completely different because of the absence of your true self. The entire world would be different.
So do not compare yourself to anyone besides you.
Let yourself be the basis of improvements in your life.
You should be your only competition, and it should be friendly.
It is okay to be selfish, to be proud of you, and to completely own who you are.