When You're Facing Your Fears, You're Stuck
Start writing a post
Student Life

When You’re Facing Your Fears, You’re Stuck Between Doubt And Desire

"You're standing between doubt and desire. One of them is keeping you from your dream, one of them is fueling your dream. Choose wisely."

64
www.pixabay.com
Pixabay

Yesterday, I was running, and for the first time in seven months, I was truly running. I could feel my veins expanding as the blood rushed through them trying to supply my body with every last drop. My lungs felt as if they could burst; no amount of oxygen was enough. My legs were numb, but yet completely exasperated.

To me, that is running.

Most days, I go for a run. I don't stress over time or my pace, but yesterday, I was running. There's this place that runners go on the bad days; maybe it's their favorite trail or hills. But it doesn't exactly matter where they are. Most importantly, it's what they find. What they find isn't a physical object, but a state of mind.

This state of mind is survival mode.

You seem to forget what you got on your test, or who pissed you off today, or the bills you have to pay tomorrow. You are on the verge of a complete blackout. It is the most intriguing feeling.

Your ears are ringing, and all you can hear is your unsteady breath and your feet pounding the pavement. You have no intentions of stopping. You are in your zone.

Yesterday, I found that headspace I have been dying to feel for far too long. I had one manta I found myself repeating over and over again each time my legs felt fatigued.

"You're standing between doubt and desire. One of them is keeping you from your dream, one of them is fueling your dream. Choose wisely."

I couldn't shake this thought. As I was in the back of the pack trying to keep up with my old teammates, I knew that the easiest thing to do would be to turn around and quit. I could've told myself that I am not the runner I used to be, and never will be.

With that attitude, I am absolutely right. That's the doubt. But holding on for one more second, one more rep; when I feel like I can't go on anymore, that's desire.

Desire isn't a feeling you can learn. Desire is engraved in you from the moment you decide you're not giving up. Yesterday, I made the choice to see what I was capable of. I saw that fear has been holding me back from so many accomplishments.

That's not just with running or sports, but school and my future. I always sell myself short; I have the passion to do anything I set my mind to. I have the work ethic to achieve all of my goals. Yet, I let my fear and doubt stand between me and my dreams.

It's exhausting to doubt yourself 24/7 when you're pouring 100% of all you have into your goals.

Imagine if I allowed my body to feel the way about my future that I did on that really hard run. What if I stop holding myself back and tap into that freeing state of mind, where I can't feel my body and I'm totally numb, but in a way, that's putting me closer to my dreams?

Is that even possible? Or will I live in doubt for a long time? I decided to not wait around to find out. Instead, I'm going to wake up every day and decided to chase not only my dreams but my desires, too.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

51835
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

33291
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

956188
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

181117
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments