This is a note to myself, but I believe that it may help others succeed if they know that other people struggle with the same issues. This does not offer solutions because I have no answers. So here it goes.

Dear self,

Someone asked me if I was trying to fail.

I’m not. I promise I’m not. I just hate my classes this semester.

“Well, what classes do you enjoy?”

I don’t really know. I hate school. High school was easy. My GPA was never under a 4.0. I rarely did my homework, I never studied. I didn’t have to try, and I still did well, only earning four B’s throughout all of high school.

High school did not challenge me. It did not prepare me for this. The issue could be that I have not touched my textbooks at all this semester, or that I do not study at all for my exams, but overall it is just different.

I am a major procrastinator with serious time management issues. Well, I plan out my schedule, down to the half hour, but I do not follow it. I do not prioritize my schoolwork. I focus on my extracurricular activities, write for The Odyssey, and plan out the next 3.5 years of college (for whatever major I think I want to pursue that week) when I should be doing my homework or studying. (Really, you should see how many times I have reworked a four year plan based on a variety of majors and minors that I think may interest me).

So back to those issues about not prioritizing schoolwork. I need someone to tie me to a chair and make me study. I did that to my sister once when I was trying to tutor her; it didn’t work. I need someone to watch over my shoulder, so I don’t watch Netflix between classes. I need someone to make me go to office hours and ask questions. I need someone to watch my every move and guide me in the right direction because I am very, very lost.

So am I planning on failing? No.

Am I planning on dropping out of school? No.

I just need to figure out how to better manage my life.

Love,

Myself