My struggle with faith while attending a Christian college

My struggle with faith while attending a Christian college

"We live by faith, not by sight"

Religion has always had an active presence in my life. From pre-k to 12th grade, I attended Catholic school. On my first day of college classes this September, it felt incredibly weird to be starting school without wearing a uniform. Although I attended a faith based school, I admit that I’m not a very religious person. My family and I would attend church growing up but, it would be very inconsistent. Some months we would go to church every Sunday, while at other points we would only go once every couple of months. I’ve always struggled with my faith and what it truly meant to be considered a good “Christian” or good “Catholic”. Last April, when I finally settled on the college I would be attending, I decided that I would go to Eastern University, a small Christian college. I knew that Eastern was a Christian school and had somewhat stricter practices such as visitation hours, no alcohol on campus, taking mandatory bible classes, and chapel services. Although I’ve enjoyed my time here at Eastern so far, it’s a lot different than what I thought I originally wanted for myself in a college. Ever since I have arrived on campus, I’ve been driven to think more about my faith both in my religion classes and through the whole atmosphere at Eastern itself. Although Eastern is obviously religiously driven, I appreciate how nothing is forced. Chapel isn’t mandatory and no one will throw religion in your face if you don’t want them to.

There have been many times throughout these first six weeks at Eastern where I have questioned my faith and what it means to be a Catholic. This has been one of the first times in my life where I have met people from other denominations because most, if not all of my friends growing up were Catholic, just like me. In many ways, even though Catholicism is a branch of Christianity, it is extremely different from some Christian denominations. In Catholicism, every prayer begins with, “In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.” I soon found that this practice that I’ve been doing all my life isn’t a common practice for other Christian denominations. Faith is a hard subject to address, both externally and internally. My entire life I have never been secure in my faith. Even though I attended a very powerful religious retreat my senior year of high school that did have a profound effect on me, it still did not make me feel secure about my faith or relationship with God. There are times where I feel like a bad person, because those around me seem so secure in their faith. Trying to maintain a healthy relationship with God has been difficult for me because there is so much about Him that I am unsure of. Although my relationship with God might be a bit complicated, I love being surrounded by a community of believers that motivate me each day to try to get to know him better.

If I’ve learned anything in these past six weeks of attending a Christian college, the most important lesson is that it’s ok to have questions about religion and about God. No matter what denomination you are or even if you go to church every Sunday, everyone will struggle at some point with what it means to be a Christian. Although some may say that my faith-based classes are “useless” I’m grateful for the opportunity I have to actually discuss and question faith along with others. Although attending a Christian college might have scared me at first, I’m truly grateful for the welcoming community that I’m a part of. I even took a step completely outside of my comfort zone and joined FCA, Fellowship of Christian Athletes. Twice a month we get together to pray and worship together. Although it’s something I thought I would never do, I enjoy it and hope that it will help me become closer with God. My relationship with God is and will never be perfect but I’m grateful that I am a member of a community where I can grow both mentally and spiritually.

Cover Image Credit: Alex 8210

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9 Reasons You're Still In Love With Tim Riggins In 2019

Clear eyes. Full hearts.

If you're a Friday Night Lights fan, you know very well who Tim Riggins is. And if you've never seen the show, he's basically just the bad boy football star and sensitive hottie of your dreams, all wrapped into one heart-throbbing package. If you haven't already fallen under the Tim Riggins spell, you're about to...

1. He's the star running back of the Dillon Panthers.

Basically every girl who has walked this earth has fantasized about having that cliche football relationship. No shame. #33 on the field, #1 in my heart.

2. He's actually really sensitive.

Tim Riggins may seem hard and dysfunctional on the outside, but he's really just a big softie. He's no JD McCoy, who grew up lavishly and extremely fortunate; Tim had a rough upbringing. He and his brother, Billy, had to work hard all by themselves just to stay above water, which is most likely what keeps him so grounded and humbled.

3. He loves kids.

Tim didn't even think twice about taking his neighbor under his wing when he moved in next door. And for some reason, there's just somethin' about cute boys holding babies that makes us girls swoon.

4. He's genuine and honest.

Sure, maybe he took advantage of his football-star status and slept with most of the rally girls, but once he fell in love with Lyla we saw his compassionate side. (You probably envied Lyla and maybe even hated her for a while because of it...I know I did.)

5. He knows how to have a good time.

It's 5 o'clock somewhere.

6. He's a family man.

Tim took the blame for his brother's crime and went to prison for it...if that's not loyalty then I don't know what is.

7. He's affectionate.

If you either hate Lyla or you want to be Lyla or a combination of the both, you are not alone.

8. He's protective.

Probably the only time you've ever wanted to be in a tornado was when you watched the episode where he shielded Julie from flying debris.

9. He's beautiful.

You're welcome for blessing you with this GIF.

May you all find your own Tim Riggins. Amen.

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Poetry On The Odyssey: It's a Girl

An ode to the little girl raised to be insecure.


They raise little girls to be insecure

Little girls grow to be big girls

People always ask big girls why they're so insecure

Big girls aren't quite sure

Day after day the big girl can't keep up

She's exhausted

Her soul feels worn

The big girl learns to grow hard

In a way, she's a bit stronger

People call her a bitch


What is that?

How can she let that affect her

It's simply the only way to be her

She mourns that little girl

Hoping that one day

She'll be strong

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