Twelve-year-old me had read all the quotes and heard all the motherly advice about being different. There’s the standard quote from every mom that's something like “don’t worry about what everyone else thinks of you, just worry about how you’re feeling about yourself” And of course when I got that advice, I replied with something like “Yeah oook Mom can you please just let me wear three pounds of eyeliner like everyone else” While I heard all the advice, I now realize that I was hearing, but I wasn't necessarily listening. There’s a big difference between the two. Despite all this advice, I couldn't help but just want to fit in.

Now being twenty-one, I have started to realize one of my biggest regrets in my younger years. Up until about college, I had always just wanted to fit in. I saw what everyone else was doing and wearing and thought sure, I’ll just do the same. Clearly, that's what’s best, so why not just follow everyone else? I think many of us had this same mindset.

I don’t know if it was college, or just growing up that made me realize that I didn't want to just be like everyone else, I just want to be me, even if that means being a little different.

Deciding to pursue writing and art was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. One of my concerns was that people would judge me for thinking I was even capable of either of those. I used to be scared to publish my writing and have my words out there. You can’t edit, put contrast, or a filter on words. I knew that my peer's perception of myself would be different since there's simply just more room to express who I really am, rather than a couple of Instagram photos and tweets.

Words are pure and engraved once they are published. I also didn't want everyone to think I was becoming “just like one of those artsy Tumblr girls” Which now, even just typing that feels silly. This made me realize that I was putting what other people would think about me, above who I myself wanted to be.

I slowly have started to realize that I was doing just that, but with every aspect of my life. Especially with my physical appearance. People always tell me that they wish they could rock hair as short as mine. It makes me laugh every time because the truth is, anyone can. I ask them why don’t they just cut it then? They always reply with the same answer. They think they look ugly with short hair. How does being comfortable and doing what you want to make you feel ugly?

The best advice I can give them is “don’t worry about what everyone else thinks of you, just worry about how you’re feeling about yourself” yeah, sound familiar? Because at the end of the day, it’s you who cares about what you wore that day. It’s you who cares about who you are, and who you want to be.

Some of my biggest anxieties used to evolve around my self-image and what people would think when they saw me.

It’s always a constant battle, but on my good days, I know that how you look on the outside doesn't mirror who you are on the inside. Having different interests than the majority of people doesn't make you a weirdo, it just makes you, you. So if you want to do something, but you’re scared of what everyone else thinks, just pause for a moment and think about what will make you happier. Trust me, following your heart, is always the way to go.