Friends and relationships can be hard — especially when you're still trying to figure yourself out. In our trials and errors, we tend to lose people we thought would be there for us until the bitter end. We would still be friends until our hair was gray and we discussed nursing homes instead of parties. But not every relationship lasts that long. And not every relationship ends smoothly and painlessly. A lot of times, you end up burning bridges with people you thought would be closest to you.
Flashback to my junior year of high school.
What could be more exciting than your Junior and Senior years of high school? Let me tell you. Nothing. These are the best two years of your high school career and I'm about to make every second count. Talk to cute guys? Check. Start looking at prom dresses? Check. Have the perfect schedule? Of course. To make it better, my friends and I are at an amazing spot after our heart to heart up at the cabin. Nothing could go wrong... right? Wrong. Suddenly I'm not BFF's with my BFF of the past four years. Suddenly I'm hearing rumors about how I'm such a slut for talking to guys. Suddenly my friend group, wasn't my friend group. They hated me. They called me names behind my back. Their rant sessions that used to be about other girls and teachers were suddenly about me. Somehow, they made me believe I was an awful person. I went to prom alone. I ate lunch by myself. I cried myself to sleep more times than I had laughed that entire year. It was all over. There was no turning back. They would never be my "friends" again.
Over two years ago, I thought my life was over. The girls I had been friends with since elementary school, were suddenly my worst enemies. They made me feel cheap and worthless. Not to mention, their mothers only supported their actions towards me. These girls were worse than the ones who were labeled the "mean girls." These girls knew my secrets. They watched me break when my grandfather died a few months earlier. They were everything to me but somehow, I ended up being nothing to them.
As days and months past, my ties with them were cut. I didn't look for them in the hallways at school. I sat as far away from them in class as I could. I would leave conversations as soon as they were brought up. They completely ended my social life for a good portion of junior and senior year. As quickly as our bridges were built in elementary school, they were set to flames just as quickly - with me being the only one burned in the process.
Now, as the sting of the entire situation went down, my mentality and how I viewed the situation quickly changed. These girls were my best friends for a better part of life. I wanted to see where they decided to go to school. I wanted to know how their brothers were doing. I wanted them to still want to be a part of my life.
I'm no fool though. I know that once you burn a bridge, it takes a while for the ashes to settle, clear away the debris and start over again. But it's worth it.
I reached out to one of the girls whose friendship I valued the most, to be quite honest. She was there for me when I needed her the most but, because of our falling out, I couldn't be there for her. After we had all graduated this spring, I began texting her again. We started a snapchat streak. We went and got coffee, as awkward as it may have been at first — it was worth it. She confessed to me that she felt as awful as I did through the whole ordeal. We talked about boys, our grandparents and our futures. We made a pact to try and remedy our friendship. We want someone to go and visit on a different campus, someone to come home for summer to that we wouldn't be talking to 24/7. We're not best friends, but we're getting there.
As terrifying as it is to send that first text after a fight, it's worth it. Take a jump and reach out to someone you hurt. Or someone who hurt you. Sometimes, you won't get the response you want or a response at all. Other times, you'll get an enthusiastic reply. But, I can guarantee you, you will always get the response you need. So think about it. Are you going to let the bridges burn and be ignored? Or will you salvage and build a better bridge in its place?