A subtle silence comes over you. You stare at yourself in the mirror while you sweep makeup onto your face and secure your hair in a neat bun on the crown of your head. You pull on a pair of new tights that hug the curves of every muscle in your legs that are so sore you can’t even feel it anymore. Then you put on the final piece of what makes you whole—the shoes with the silky laces. In a chaotic sea of pink and tulle, you are calm because you’ve done this a hundred times before. You walk up the stairs to wait for your turn. Finally, as you hear your cue, you take a deep breath, step onto the stage, and you dance.

That is exactly how I felt for my entire 15-year dance career and most especially on my last performance. If you are a born performer like myself, you know the feeling I am talking about. It’s our own kind of drug. We get addicted to it and we can’t stop; not that we would ever want to. But eventually the muscles start feeling sore again and that chapter of our story has to come to an end. Even after my last performance as a dancer, my mind still wanders back to the studios that I grew up in and I remember all the lessons dance has taught me. I learned not only the physical lessons that every dancer learns, but the personal and life-long lessons that were unspoken.

Dance is an art that has many forms. In my case, I practiced the arts of ballet, jazz, and modern. These three very distinctive forms of dance harmonized perfectly to create who I am today. Each one has its own set of rules, and each one has its own rewards.

Ballet is a very precise form of dance. You can’t take any short cuts and there is a specific word for every movement. Ballet has taught me discipline. It taught me to work hard to get where you want to be. I know how to be demanding and strong while exuding grace and beauty. There is nothing more onerous and gratifying as ballet and it has by far rewarded me most generously.

Jazz on the other hand is not as demanding as ballet. There is no other way to describe it than just very cool. Contrary to popular belief, it is not all about the jazz hands. It’s about finding that cool, easy going part of you and letting it show. Jazz can be bold and sexy and that makes us dancers feel great about ourselves. Confidence is key and confidence is what jazz has given me.

Modern dance is something that I picked up towards the end of my dance storybook, but I am very grateful that I had the chance to learn. For those of you who don’t know, modern is sort of like contemporary dance. Throughout every routine there is a story being told. It is told through the music and through our bodies. It is such a beautiful style; I only wish I had gotten more time to do it. Even in the short time that I practiced modern, it has taught me so much. There are almost no rules for this kind of dance. Modern has taught me to just let go. I can be my complete self and express feelings and words that are often hard to get out. It has taught me that it is okay to be quirky and to fully embrace that. Modern let me be different, and I’m proud to be different

If I got the chance to, I would go back and thank every one of my instructors for giving me this gift of dance. I hope they will continue to pass this gift along to other students for as long as they possibly can. I’m ready to go out into the real world because of what dance has taught me. Just like in the dance world, I know there are going to be people better than me at whatever I do and that’s okay. Those long hours I’ve spent rehearsing and hating my teacher for criticizing me were well spent because I know I have to work hard to progress and use criticism constructively. I loved dance from the moment I put on my first ballet slipper when I was four years old. I've loved it through every blister and nerve wracking audition. I’ve loved it even when I’ve hated it. Dance has given me so many things. But most of all, it has given me bliss.