Hey gals and guys and everyone who doesn't identify as such, today we're talking about something important: compliments. Specifically, accepting them.

Anyone with even a smidgen of self-consciousness has probably denied a compliment a few times in their life. Or, if you're like most people, you consistently and reliably reject compliments.

It's a pretty mindless thing - you receive a compliment and almost automatically you respond with a self-deprecating joke, or a "no, I'm really not, but thanks." It doesn't seem like a big deal, because that's how we're conditioned to accept compliments.

We might think that accepting compliments too readily is self-aggrandizing, or maybe we truly don't believe these things about ourselves. Either way, not accepting compliments does you more harm than you might think.

Every time you don't accept a compliment, especially if you try to argue it, you invalidate your own self-worth. More than just refusing to acknowledge the good qualities about yourself, you are literally reinforcing a negative belief about yourself.

I used to reject compliments all the time, and my self-esteem suffered. Especially as a perfectionist, I was hard enough on myself to begin with, so any compliment seemed insincere.

When I would argue, for example, that I wasn't truly smart, that reinstated an already deep-rooted belief that I had about my own intelligence. Low-self esteem leads to invalidation leads to low self-esteem and on and on.

I didn't even realize this destructive pattern until I was introduced to the concept of positive affirmations. Basically, the idea is to have a few positive mantras that you repeat to yourself, audibly or mentally, a few times a day.

It works in the same way that rejecting compliments does. If you repeat something enough, you start to develop a schema around that thing. You don't even need to believe it at first - repetition alone is a powerful tool. Before long you will actually start to believe what you've been saying.

You don't need to do self-affirmations if that's weird for you, but just try to accept the next compliment you get. Don't argue, don't deny it, just say thank you and let it set in. Let yourself appreciate what other people appreciate about you so easily.