Body insecurities: something I deal with every second of every day. And no matter what, the insecurity is there.

When I get up in the morning, I already hate the way I look. Showering, getting dressed, and putting on makeup - I'm still not satisfied.

Walking my dog and then grabbing a protein shake or Clif Bar for breakfast still doesn't make me want to face people today.

Sitting through a boring class only makes me think about how much I hate the size of my thighs even more. I just sit there, staring at them and trying to shrink them with my non-existant mind power.

Leaving classes and hitting the gym makes me even more self conscious. I look around and see some girl really killing it on the treadmill, and I'm just wondering why I can't run for longer than 2 minutes at a time without feeling absolutely exhausted. I have no cardio stamina.

It's even worse when I catch people looking at me, because in my mind, they are only thinking negative things about me. Why should I even bother if I just feel judged whether I'm doing nothing or trying my best to be in the body that I want to be?

I go to the grocery store and feel like people are staring at me and judging what I put in my basket. Even if it's all healthy stuff: sliced turkey, zucchini, carrots, apples, bananas...nothing I do is good enough in my own mind.

On days when I starve myself, I still feel like I ate too much. On days when I eat just enough and burn half of the days calories at the gym, I still feel like I didn't do enough. On days when I give up and eat twice the amount of calories that I should, I end up feeling extremely guilty and dwell on it for days. A voice inside of me tells me that that isn't the healthy way to lose weight, but I push it aside because I don't know of any other way.

I get dressed up and I go out with my friends. People tell me I'm beautiful. Some will come up to me and try to hit on me by saying I'm the best looking girl in the club. Both guys and girls will say I have a "nice a**" and girls will go as far to say they wish they had my booty and my body type. I hear all the time that my body shape is "perfect."

I hate that word. Perfect is something so unachievable yet I always strive for my own idea of perfection. Nothing I ever do and the way I look will never be "perfect" to me.

People that see me and tell me I'm perfect have no idea that I will spend an hour looking at my naked body in the mirror, picking out all of the flaws and trying everything to reduce the appearance of cellulite on the back of my thighs. Being "thick" isn't all it's cracked up to be. It definitely isn't glamorous like they try to make it seem in all of the songs.

Please, stop telling me I look "perfect." Your idea of perfection and my idea of perfection are completely different, and honestly, it makes me feel worse. It makes me strive harder to achieve the perfection that I will actually never achieve, because perfection is impossible. It stresses me out more, thinking that I have to do certain things and be extremely hard on myself so that I can continue to look this way, if not better. No one understands that telling me I look perfect is the most damaging thing you can say to me.

What's even worse is when people tell me I shouldn't not eat certain things or go to the gym a few times a week because they don't think I need to. They think I'm "perfect" the way I am and that I shouldn't strive to be the version of me that I want to be. Telling me I shouldn't worry about going to the gym only pisses me off, because why should I not care about the health of my own body? And if I don't want to eat burgers and donuts, then don't make me feel bad about wanting to order grilled chicken and a salad at a restaurant.

You do you, but let me do me. Allow me to do the things in my life that make me happy and allow me to move towards where I want to be. Tell me you're proud of me and that I'm "looking great" and any other compliment you would like, but don't tell me I'm perfect just the way I am.