Stop standing on escalators.
“People standing on escalators! And that is a testimony to human laziness! I mean, the guy who invented the escalator is just, probably, kicking himself in the ass. Do you think the guy made the escalator so people—and they're made like stairs—just so people stand on it so you go up and down? You're supposed to walk on 'em so you get there faster. You know? And then people stand on there. So every time I'm on an escalator, I'm just like, "Excuse me, pardon me, excuse me, pardon me…." You know? That's my pet peeve, right there. And I'm gonna do something about it, and I'm urging you to do something about it! Write your congressman, get a group together, get together, and—I think we can do something about this.” –Krist Novoselic
Stop standing on escalators. They have steps for a reason. Walk up them, walk down them. They’re like stairs, but faster. That’s the point. Why would you stand still and wait to slowly be carried up or down stairs. The purpose of walking to get somewhere. So go somewhere. Don’t just stand there like an idiot. Keep it moving.
Everyone in New York City is always in some huge hurry, bumping into each other and stepping over homeless people and cursing out tourists for walking at a normal human speed. Everyone in New York City is in a hurry until they get to an escalator. Suddenly they have all the time in the world. Lounge and relax at the escalator resort. Stand in a dumb slouch on either side of the aisle as if the concept of stairs is wholly alien, as if no one has invented stepping on steps yet. Standing still and alone on an ugly machine could not possibly be nearly as enticing as everyone seems to want to pretend it is.
“You’re supposed to stand on the side, the right side, so that people can walk up on the left side” –Kurt Cobain
At least move over to the left side if you’re going to totally power down on the escalator after navigating the streets of New York City maniacally, weaving in and out of foot traffic like an assassin being chased. That’s what they do in nice places with people who are self aware, who are considerate of others, who are not dead-set on putting every effort into putting in the least possible amount of effort, who are decidedly un-American. In Europe, in Canada, every escalator has a flowing left side, full of optimism and purpose, unless it is blocked by a crass American tourist, lost in a daydream, totally unaware of his infuriating lack of etiquette. Stop standing on escalators.