I was raised in a family to always try to encourage a woman's growth. I believe whole heatedly in the saying that "your time will come" so even if you feel like you're not in the best spot currently, it doesn't mean your time isn't right around the corner. If not today, maybe tomorrow.
With wanting others to succeed comes a misconception that other people also want similar things as myself. I see someone who graduated earlier than me, got engaged earlier than me, and bought a house earlier than me-and I still want to scream: "YAAAAS QUEEEEEN", from the freaking rooftops because I know how hard it is first hand-even though all of these things are personal goals of my own, doesn't mean they can't be celebrated if someone reaches them before myself.
Some women, however, find that as competition, so instead of cheering the damn queen on herself, they throw out a bunch of:
"She won't make it."
"That'll be too much for her."
"How did she afford a house at this stage of her life?"
"I bet she got help from someone."
My question is, why?
As Cady Heron from Mean Girls would say,
"Calling somebody else fat won't make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn't make you any smarter. And ruining Regina George's life definitely didn't make me any happier. All you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you."
My point being-stop trying to belittle the success of other women to make you feel happy with your own life. In the long run-doing this probably hurts you more than helps you.
It's like wanting to go on a diet, but instead choosing to starve yourself for quicker results---insignificant.
Trying to get the attention of someone you desperately want by showing him a little more of yourself physically vs. mentally-demeaning.
Attempting to move up in your career through bribes or threats-pointless.
You're trying to make yourself feel better by accomplishing things that you feel you need to, instead of just letting these things happen naturally. Give yourself your own time, but allow others to enjoy theirs.
When I was younger, I felt like I had a bunch of women in my corner; cheering me on, supporting me, screaming from the crowd that I was their number one.
As I got older, I noticed my corner of women got smaller and smaller. Less people to hug me for an accomplishment, and fewer to congratulate me on a job well done. It's not that I felt like I needed this reassurance from them, but it was nice to know that they were there rooting for me, like I had-and continue to be-there rooting for them.
The thing is, I have to remind myself that not all women were raised to encourage the growth of others. We see one person with a better quality of life and resort to envy instead of admiration.
But drill this into your head, ladies:
Good for this person. My time will come.
I'm happy she succeeded, I will one day.
Life isn't a competition, there is no finish line to cross.
Be happy and supportive of other women..because
just like you they deserve to have someone in their corner.
The thing is, there is no specific timeline of how things should be done.
Yeah some people get engaged in their 20's while other's may wait until they're 50. However, some people just don't get engaged at all!
You may graduate from college the earliest you possibly can, while others don't start until later on in life. There are also those people that find college a scam and don't want to go at all..
You could live in a mansion of a house, or a mobile home...hell you could own a yurt.
And all of these things and accomplishments deserve to be admired because we're all different, we're all worthy of something amazing, and we're all going to take/have different paths in life.
So doesn't it seem kind of silly to not root on every women you possibly see for doing her own thing and rocking it in the process? If you're unsatisfied with something in your life or the speed that it's going, change your life. Stop trying to undermine the accomplishments of women in the process of changing their own.
Like I said, my corner is dwindling, but that's okay. Everyday I will continue to root and cheer for the women that continue to be in my corner, and even the ones that decided to leave it.
Because. Every. Women. Deserves. To. Be. Celebrated. For. Their. Greatness.
Say it again.
Now don't forget that.