As a full-time college student, I get stressed; whether it be from classes, work, social pressures or whatever, I am constantly stressed. I can’t speak for everyone, but my automatic response to stress is simple: cry. After one of my many “episodes,” I looked to my friend consoling me and immediately apologized. In that moment, I didn’t know why, but now I do. In our society, we have been taught that crying is a sign of weakness and that we should be ashamed to let such emotions be seen.
I now proudly reveal that I cry every single day. There -- I said it. When I first realized this, I was ashamed and thought there was something wrong with me. But why can’t we admit that we have feelings and that they need to be dealt with in a healthy way? For me, when I’m upset, stressed, overwhelmed, tired, hangry, etc., I cry and talk it out with a friend, a sister, or my mom. Most importantly, I deal with it. Crying is my body’s way of telling me I need to slow down and take a moment. So I’m not ashamed to say that I cry (a lot), because at least I’m dealing with my emotions.
This isn’t to call out those who don’t cry and say you’re living your life wrong. On the contrary, I hope that everyone has a way to deal with their emotions and problems in a healthy way. Some of my friends like to go for runs and think through their problems, whereas others write poetry and expel their emotions through words.
I don’t want to paint a picture of me sitting and crying about everything, because that would be false. I have many other ways to deal with my emotions, like doing homework, reading and sometimes, the old-fashioned form of procrastination. I’m neither perfect, nor do I have all the answers, but my argument here is that we don't need to be afraid to cry, to show our emotions, to tell a friend that we aren’t okay. We came into this world crying, so we should not be ashamed of it now. It was a sign to doctors that we were healthy.
My grandmother, at the age of 71, told me before she was diagnosed with stage IV pancreatic cancer that she could always tell when something was wrong by just the sound of my voice. And in that phone call, I cried for whatever reason. We shared a beautiful conversation together that I still cherish after two years. In that moment, she told me that I shouldn’t be afraid to cry and that we would always share our secret cries.
We all have them, the tears we fight back leaving a room so we can hide our feelings. Why can’t we accept that crying is healthy and not a sign of weakness? I used to look at my quickness to cry as a problem, but now I think of it as a strength.