Stop Romanticizing People Who Are No Good For You
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Stop Romanticizing People Who Are No Good For You

You're gonna wanna read me.

Stop Romanticizing People Who Are No Good For You

I get it. It's easy to be distracted by the charismatic guy in a bowtie who learned how to dance by the same person who choreographed Magic Mike. It’s hard to ignore the guy that slipped you that perfectly crafted line (that he used on at least four of your sisters last weekend) exactly when you needed to hear it. It can be difficult to know who is worth taking a chance on and who isn’t worth another glance. I’m here to shake you awake and help you realize that you need to stop chasing after people who are no good for you.

If it isn’t helping you grow or making you feel good, why are you doing it?

It really is as simple as that. This mantra goes for friendships and relationships alike. People don’t realize how big of a toll relationships take on them until they’re lying on the cold, hard ground upset and feeling defeated at the end of a fight. 

We’re all capable of taking care of the things that are important to us, but if you ask around, not many people will say that their heart is at the top of that list. Why not? We take care of our bodies, our school work, our friends, our apartments, ours cars, etc., but why does it take us so long to realize that the most sacred thing we have to offer needs a little TLC, too? 

I want to remind you to not give your heart so freely. I’m the worst at taking my own advice, but I can assure you that it takes a toll on you when you’re spreading yourself so thin. 

Taking care of your heart means protecting your heart. That means not paying attention to people who are jerks and knowing when it's time to cut someone off. You know the line, “wait for a man who will call you beautiful instead of hot…”? Well, I want, what anyone who cares about you wants, is for you to wait for a man who will respect you. A man who will encourage and adore you. We want a man who will do all of these things described below, because when you accept anything less, we know that you’re cheating yourself. 

A man worthy of your time will value more than your appearance. He will respect you through and through and he will never be out to make you look stupid. He will value your character and adore your personality, and he’ll probably love a few the things that you hate about yourself, if not all of them. He will find it sexy that you’re intelligent and he will never put you down for being studious. 

He will view your kindness and sense of humility as a sign of strength rather than a sign of weakness. He will love you for who you really are, inside and out, and he will never try to change your character. He will fall in love with you because he sees the person you are and have worked to become, rather than for your looks. He will commend you for the traits, skills, and attributes that you have worked hard to develop and he will honor the values you hold dear.  

The man worthy of your time will not be intimidated by your goals and ambitions. A strong man can handle a strong woman, but a weak man will be threatened by one. He will have goals of his own and he will want you to succeed just as badly as he wants it for himself. He will want to be with someone who has her own hopes and dreams and is willing to work to achieve them, because he knows that ambition is attractive. 

He will have a desire to stand tall alongside you in all that you do, and he will support your decisions rather than reprimand you for them. He will strive to keep your partnership healthy, rather than continuously look for reasons why it should fail. It will be a partnership, not a dictatorship. 

He will always answer your questions, no matter how silly they may be. He will not make you feel stupid for trying to learn, but rather he’ll help you find the answers. He will not cower away from issues or make things uncomfortable; he will approach issues with a sense of respect and kindness. He will be direct and prompt about things that need to be talked about and he will not make excuses for his behavior. Mind games and manipulation have no place in a relationship. 

He will trust you and have confidence in you both. A true gentleman will do what it takes to make you happy, and you will do the same for him. A healthy relationship is a balancing act, with each person’s happiness bringing a sense of fullness to the relationship. 

Lastly, the man worth your time will want you to be the best “you” you can be. Cliché, but think about how much truth there is to that statement. Would you want someone who encouraged you to skip class so you two could spend more time together, or someone who discouraged you taking your dream internship because it’s far away from him? No. He will want what is best for YOU. He will not want to change you, but help you strive for greatness by pushing, empowering, coaching, challenging, and encouraging you, daily. 

If someone is bringing you down, let them go. If someone is disrespecting you, let them go. If someone is lying to you, playing you, or making you feel like you’re merely a last resort, for the love of God, please let them go. This article applies to men and women alike, and friendships and relationships alike. 

Stop romanticizing people who are no good for you. Do not stand for people who make you feel like you’re worth less than you really are… as Sharleen from The Bachelor once said, wait for the man who sees you as a panda in a room full of brown bears. You’ll thank yourself later. 

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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