Please Stop Romanticizing Military Relationships

Please Stop Romanticizing Military Relationships

If you're in it for the ball or the homecoming pictures you're in it for the wrong reasons.

Growing up I always swore I'd never date or marry into the Army. Coming from a military family I was honestly turned off too it. While I'm extremely thankful for those who serve I knew how hard it was constantly saying goodbye to those I love for deployments and watching my family move from base to base ever few years. But here I am dating a soldier stationed states away. While I'm extremely proud of my boyfriend I find myself constantly rolling my eyes at girls who gushing over servicemen and asking if he has any cute friends on base. I know most of them mean well but some people are living in a dream world.

"I wish I was dating someone military just to get pictures taken in uniform and make cute homecoming pictures."

"The only reason I'm talking to him is because I want him to take me to the ball with him."

I wish that I was kidding when I say that I've heard these things be said and seriously meant but I'm not.

Please, from someone in one and who grew up around them, stop romanticizing military relationships. They aren't always easy, they aren't always fun. They aren't all cute pictures and fancy dresses at the ball. Honestly, sometimes it sucks. I wouldn't trade my relationship for anything in the world but we'll both admit this sucks sometimes. Sometimes you have to say goodbye to your best friends for months at a time. While your peers are going out to dinner or movies your versions of dates are video chats and phone calls. Sometimes you might not even get a phone call, you might just get a letter every few weeks if you're lucky.

While my friends are saving for plane tickets to the beach for spring break, I'm saving up for a hotel room near base just to spend a few days with my favorite person. When they're going out on a Thursday, I'm laying in bed on Skype because it's one of the nights we're both free. To make a relationship like this work takes work and sacrafice from both sides, it doesn't just happen on its own. It's being there through thick and thin, good and bad, homecomings and deployments.

If you're going to involve yourself with someone in the service, know what you're getting yourself into. If you're just in it for the pictures or the ball you're in it for the wrong reasons. If you're in for the person then be ready to put in the work. While it may be hard, it may just end up being the start of the rest of your life.

Cover Image Credit: Credit Alyssa Troiano

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Just Because I Check My Boyfriend's Location Every Hour Doesn't Make Me A 'Psycho Girlfriend'

No, checking his location every hour does not make me psycho.

My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for a few months now. He has come up with describing my actions sometimes as “psycho girlfriend.” As much as this bothered me at first I started to realize there is nothing wrong with my “psycho” actions.

I don’t monitor who my boyfriend hangs out with and I don’t care who he texts, I trust him, but I do watch other things he does.

I probably check his location about once an hour, maybe more if he isn’t texting me back.

This isn’t some way for me to find out if he is with another girl, it’s so I can ensure he isn’t dead in a ditch somewhere. If he was on Snapchat five minutes ago but hasn’t texted me back in 45 minutes, yeah I’ll call him out on it but I'm not actually mad. If he is with friends and not answering me, it’s cool. I just want to be able to make sure I know where he is and that he is alive on a regular basis.

I make him keep his read receipts on for me.

I don’t care if he leaves me on read, I just need to know he is seeing what I’m saying. Half the time, I text him random facts or thoughts I have throughout my day, those don’t always need a response back. However, I do want to know he is acknowledging me through reading my texts.

Yes, from time to time I will spam him and make him respond to my messages so we can make plans or I can know what he is doing with his day but it’s not like I plan out his every move for him or care if he is getting drunk with the boys on a Wednesday, not my issue.

I don’t ask for all of his time or anything. I know he is a busy person. All I ask for him to text me back on a regular basis (once an hour to be exact), for him to allow for me to know where he is at all times and to get one night a week with him.

I don’t plan to show up where he is or anything, I simply just like to know information and get a weekly time with him. I don’t care if I only see him that one night a week, I just want one night with a movie or dinner or snuggles so I can get my boyfriend time.

The rest of the time he is his own person, and I couldn’t really care less about what he does in that time.

Cover Image Credit: Grace Wilkowski

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To The Girl Always Flying Solo, It’s Time To Own Your Relationship Status

Don’t hide it. Be confident in being single.

Raise your hand if you’re the girl who always flies solo.

You go to parties alone and stand in the back because you don’t have a date.

You go to weddings by yourself and people say, ‘don’t worry dear, your time will come.’

Then, there are the everyday activities you do alone. You go grocery shopping alone, eat out alone and maybe you even sit in a movie theater alone.

After a while, you get tired of being the one who is always single and never has a date. Friends start to feel bad for you, so they try playing matchmaker. Even that tends to get old.

In today’s world, it’s incredibly hard to not feel the tiniest pang of anger when you see the flood of cute couples pictures on social media.

Sometimes, it may feel like it’s all in your face, but no relationship is ever perfect. Even if the couple looks like they have it all together, odds are they don’t.

Don't let what you see on social media get you down.

There is no shame in having your Facebook relationship status set on single. Yeah, it’s been set on single for years, but who cares. Maybe it’s been set on single since the day you made your account.

The only person who notices is YOU.

The person you are is more than enough, and you alone will outshine any relationship you see on social media.

Over the years, I’ve gone to my fair share of weddings and parties alone. It’s not that I didn’t want a date or I didn’t have anyone to ask. I simply chose to go alone.

Now, I’m not going to lie because there were many times I felt uncomfortable being alone when everyone else had a date. There was a point in time where I let that feeling get to me, and it kept me from going out.

I was tired of people asking me if I was seeing anyone, and when I replied no, the next question was why. Suddenly, my personal life was their business, and it made me feel even worse.

That's when I realized how INSANE it was for me to feel bad about myself for being single.

There is nothing wrong with not having someone by your side. You don’t need a boyfriend or a date to make you feel confident.

Now, it’s time to be confident in yourself and proud of who you are. You are the girl who flies solo, and it’s time you own it. You can turn heads all on your own. Your confidence will show others you are comfortable in your own shoes.

Your relationship status does not define you.

Instead, you should be shouting it because you are you, and you are amazing. There will be times you wish you had someone, and you might even feel lonely. There will be times others might judge you, but no one can take away your confidence.

If you’re one of the many who always flies solo, keep your head up, and keep living that single lady life.

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

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