I don’t understand the value of silver, gold or precious stones. I understand that their rarity makes them valuable, but I do not understand why people consider them to be special and they have no value to me. This may have an effect on my opinion. I also work with animals, which makes wearing makeup or jewelry to work a bad decision. I wouldn’t wear the ring to work and I’d forget to put it on the rest of the time.
I suppose this story starts with my evolution in jewelry in general. When I was in 4th grade, I got my ears pierced and it was the best day of my young life. I wore different earrings every day and took pleasure in it. My last two years of high school, I found that wearing big rings on the middle finger was a trend (and usually bigger rings) but I found it hard to type and to do other things. I disliked the inhibition of motion facilitated by them. When I came to college, I brought a sandwich bag of two necklaces, one bracelet and several earrings, and one ring that I never wore. Over the course of the year, I found myself wearing jewelry less and less and for the past year I have worn none, except a watch occasionally.
Now that you understand my bias, what does this have to do with engagement rings? Well, engagement rings are significantly more expensive than all the jewelry in that I own put together. For someone like me, who doesn’t like wearing jewelry at all, an engagement ring is not only a waste of money, but it is an insult.
Throughout history, jewels and gold were used to buy someone’s hand in marriage. In my mind, it is a symbol of when the majority of marriage was for profit, to make treaties between nations or to give someone status, not relationships based on love.
An engagement item is a symbol of what the relationship is and what you want it to be. What do diamond rings say? They say you are valuable to me, but in a materialistic way. It says that you aren’t unique, that thousands of other women have this same ring or similar. Most importantly, it feels impersonal, as though the person doesn’t know me. If they did, they would get me something I can use, something that shows they know who I am as a person and something that symbolizes our specific and unique relationship. A diamond ring is essentially useless. What can it do except look pretty?
The diamond companies started a campaign to trick the public into thinking they need to buy rings for their sweethearts and making them seem like jerks if they proposed with anything else. By buying an engagement ring, you are essentially buying into a conspiracy against the public. People save up for years in order to buy a diamond ring just to marry the person they love. Showing love doesn’t mean buying something you can’t afford. If you took the money you would spend on a ring and donate to charity, it could go a very long way.
In Jewish custom, the minimum required to propose to someone is today’s equivalent of 50 cents. That’s not to say that you should be cheap, it’s just to say that expensive gifts aren’t necessary to find your way to a girl's heart.
No matter what, some women will demand a ring as a show of affection, but my ideal engagement gift is a notebook or matching customized pens (one for me and one for him) so we can write about our adventures. I’d also accept something live if it lived for a long time like a tortoise.
