Last week I did something rather impetuous when I was spending the day with a couple of my friends from school and saw a psychic. Now I know many people don't really believe in them and think it's all a methodic fabrication to scam some money out of you. Listen, I completely understand how nonsensical this all sounds and you may just think I'm gullible enough to give this woman my money just to tell me some things about myself literally anyone could have generalized themselves. But hear me out. There was one thing she said to me in particular that I feel like if anything, is absolutely intelligible life advice that everyone should hear, regardless of how authentic you think what she said actually pertains to my life.
The woman started off by explicating my creative attributes. She told me she sees my life being highly fulfilled and going into something involving design (She mentioned something about architecture, which is a career I only considered once in my life when I was in the second grade). So obviously none of this is anything mind-blowing. However, after evaluating my imaginative personality she abruptly transitioned her read into something quite different. She questioned me about an individual in my life that isn't responding to me. I then proceeded to clarify her inquiry by telling her about the very important person in my life that completely ghosted me and shut me out without any explanation or proper closure. That's when she said something almost instantaneous that not everyone thinks about because they're too broken or damaged to think logically: stop looking for closure.
The woman told me I need to stop wishing I had closure from someone because they can't even respect me enough to give it to me. She explained to me I will find so much love in my life and I will find a person that will respect me enough to understand and validate all of my feelings — someone that would never even go to the extent of causing me constant wonder, anxiety, confusion, and pain. It isn't worth wasting any time over someone that doesn't have the respect for you it seemed like they once did. It's an unfortunate waste.
All of that really got me thinking because she is absolutely right. No one is worth wasting so much time pondering about because they decided to shut you out and disregard everything you once had. It's selfish, immature, and utterly inconsiderate. When you think about it, having such a vehement desire to search for closure reflects your shattered sense of self-worth. You've lost yourself in the midst of a ruthless storm that devalued your perspective on how you view who you are and your place in life, and you feel as though you need that person back to repair all the damages and make everything OK again. Perhaps it's quite the opposite of what you need, though.
Take a look in the mirror and mentally absorb the reflection that is staring back at you. Whether you see a person whose heart is dark and drowning in a whirlpool of emotional heartache, or a person who appears perfectly normal on the outside but you know is far from it, you were living before that person came along. You were breathing before you longed for closure or completion, and you were surviving. And you can do it again. It just takes a little time to learn how to self-love... to learn how to respect yourself fully so you stop exuding endless mental exertion on someone that doesn't have respect for you. We have to stop putting our hearts into people that simply don't care about us when there are people out there that would give us all we could ever ask for and so much more.
Someday, when you've come to realize your own worth, you will realize you don't need closure at all. You don't need closure from anyone that doesn't want to give it to you because that in itself tells you enough about them you need to know. And trust me, I know it's scary. I know it's a scary thing to think that someone you can have an immense amount of love for can drop you without any thought or care in the world. I know many things were left unsaid and there's probably a lot you want to get off your chest, but will never be able to. But soon enough, you will stop searching for finality in a book that's better off shut. You will learn how to love again. You will learn how to trust again.
And you won't ever have to search for closure from anyone ever again.