Why do those who have had a bad experience, constantly focus all of their time and energy on it?

I’m writing this because I think it’s important to voice your opinion in the world and to write what hasn’t been said, and what needs to be talked about.

There is a lot of talk and conversation going around about toxicity in relationships, and while it’s fine to talk about it every now and then, there needs to be a time where you accept what happened, accept the current situation and move on.

Everyone is allowed to have good and bad relationships with people, in fact, it’s inevitable. It’s going to happen. You’ll have best friends for life and you’ll have falling out with others. You'll have good relationships just as often as you have bad ones. It is what it is. But don’t make those few negative experiences turn into a lifestyle of thought and attitude. This lifestyle of thought and attitude eventually turns into a lifetime of never being able to look past one situation.

When you think big picture, and look back, are you really still going to be thinking about that one situation? Take it as a lesson, learn from it, and move on.

You are entirely responsible for your own actions and happiness. This is something that I preach. I believe who you are is who you make yourself to be. No one should tell you what to do, as no one tells you how to live your life, YOU are responsible for yourself. By focusing 100% of your energy onto the negative past, you focus on that negativity. Saying negative things about one situation, doesn’t make you a better person. It doesn’t make the situation go away. It just adds fuel to the fire. It enables you to constantly think or talk about it, therefore never allowing you to move on.

My mother is one of the most admirable people in my life and she always says, “Accept it for what it is.” I think this is so moving because if you can’t change what happened, why would you focus all of your energy on it?

Stop focusing all of your energy on the past. Move on.

I understand being upset about something and people choose to deal with certain situations in different ways, but seriously after a while, it’s time to move on. You don’t have to forgive whatever happened or try to pretend that it never happened, but it’s time to accept it for what it is, and move on.

I’m writing this because it seems that many people have experiences with toxicity, a bad relationship, or just a falling out with someone, and they just never know when to move on.

Stop focusing all of your energy on the past. Move on.