Stop Checking Up On Them
Start writing a post
Entertainment

Stop Checking Up On Them

Why are we so obsessed with social media stalking to people who hurt us?

3166
Stop Checking Up On Them
Graeme Robertson

As I was scrolling through my favorite website (yes OK, I'm talking about Tumblr), I came across a post that said, "Stop checking up on them -- they're not checking up on you." Of course the moment I saw this, I did the exact opposite and went to go check up on someone who is not in my life anymore on social media who probably hasn't checked up on me. Granted, this is the first time in a few months I've checked up on them, but it got me to thinking.

I can think of, off the top of my head, four people who have impacted my life, some more then others, who I am no longer in contact with for whatever reason. All four of these people, I have, against my better judgment, "checked up on" on social media. Whether it's Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or Snapchat, I've taken time out of my day at some point and devoted it to, basically, stalking these people.

The emotions I got while snooping around with these particular people? Anger, fear, frustration, and regret -- not really the greatest emotions to be having. So why did I do it? Why was I obsessed with these people and their social media accounts? I really couldn't give you a real answer. It never caused positive emotions and it never made me feel better about myself. If anything, it made me relive the reasons I was not in contact with that person anymore and some of those reasons aren't pretty.

I know I can't be the only person who does this, there was a post on Tumblr about it with a significant amount of notes, so I know I'm not alone. Why do we do this? This isn't addressing the friend you had at the church you grew up at's Facebook account even though you haven't actually had a conversation with her years, but you're still interested and curious in what she's up to in life. This is addressing that person who you would probably avoid on the street if you passed them, the person who maybe broke your heart or you maybe broke theirs, the person who was just dragging you down and you finally decided to cut them loose. Why do we still check their Facebooks? There was a reason the relationship ended, so what are we doing still following their accounts? Especially when it never seems to create positive emotions.

While I haven't taken the advice I'm about to give you because my curiosity is bigger then Alice's while she traveled through Wonderland, if you have someone like that in your life, someone who you use to have a close relationship with and it ended poorly, delete them. Why are you still following them? Why are you still Facebook friends? Why risk seeing their posts on your feed?

I can say that I did this with one of these people, and it was so liberating, I stopped thinking about them, I stopped having to see them on my feeds, and it felt like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. It was amazing. The only way I would ever seen them was if I actively searched them out, but not seeing them on my feeds, I wasn't even thinking to search them.

Stop following the people in your life who were toxic, stop following the people who maybe you did have a healthy relationship with, but it ended negatively. Stop focusing on those people and start focusing on the people in your life who you actually care about and who actually care about you. In hindsight, stop looking up people on social media and actually go out of your way to ask them what they are up to, instead of just looking at their photos and posts, although that's a whole post for another time.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

55284
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

35626
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

957677
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

185289
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments