We're all guilty of it. Wondering about the stares across the room. What other people are thinking of the outfit we're wearing. What your crush thinks about you. What the table of catty girls at the lunch room is giggling about in your direction. We care about the whispers of rumors in the hallways at school. We care about if we're coming off too strong or too annoying or too confident. We care about the image we've convinced people we are, constantly caught up in our own heads about if what we say or do next is what people expect. We want to be funny on Twitter. We want to be pretty or cute to the people we pass by on the streets. We want to be smart.

However, the trends on what's in seem to go back and forth, so we do, too. We want to be funny on Twitter, but not annoying or over the top. We want to be pretty or cute, but we don't want to look like we're trying too hard. We want to be smart, but not so smart that people think we're nerdy. We want to be outgoing and talkative, but we don't want to be weird or over the top. We want to be confident, but we don't want to seem cocky. We want one thing, then the other, and then we're stuck in our own heads, wondering which side of the spectrum we landed on this time. However, there is a key that everyone misses, one so simple that it's often overlooked because nothing that seems so complicated could ever have an answer that isn't.

At least, so we think.

But that's backward thinking. The thing is, all of it isn't complicated and is rather simple, but one flaw we have as humans is a tendency to overthink and over-complicate situations that can be solved with uncomplicated solutions. That being said, here's the key.

Just stop caring about what other people think.

Me saying that is probably not helpful in the slightest and probably something you have heard a thousand times. Let me explain. Odds are, when you stand in that corner of the dance floor with your friends chatting instead of dancing like you want to, afraid that Jim in the corner is going to think you're a horrible, awkward dancer, Jim is over there not moving because he doesn't want to be seen as a horrible, awkward dancer. You could probably get out there and flail your arms like an idiot, thinking all eyes are on you, but most of the time people are too worried about what others are thinking of them to worry about what you're doing. Even if attention is drawn to you and someone says something rude, it's because they really just want to stop worrying about the attention they might be drawing (but probably aren't) so they put it in your direction instead. Again, if you act like you don't care, not only will you eventually not, but people will see it doesn't phase you and they'll leave you to it.

Plus, this is a huge help on your own mental health. You don't have to pretend to be someone you aren't and keep up a constant fake facade. You don't have to stress yourself so hard on what other people think of you. You don't have to be defined by something or someone else that is dispensable and bound to leave. Define yourself by what makes you happy. If you're introverted, don't force yourself to hold conversations on a daily basis. It's okay to need time to yourself. If you're extroverted, don't force yourself to be quiet if you want to speak up because you feel strongly about a subject. It's okay to have a thought. Of course, you can't always be talking or never talk to anyone. Find balance, though.

Balance is truly key. You shouldn't be constantly absorbed in what other people think, but be open to constructive criticism. If someone close to you is giving you advice or telling you to relax, really take into account what they're saying. They are not coming from a place of contempt, but rather a place of love. However, if someone who doesn't know you personally has an opinion on you, THAT is when you ignore them and write them off. They don't know you at all. You can't say, "Screw everyone all the time. I'm going to do what I want." Honestly, that won't lead to a fruitful life either. Be self-aware and open-minded, but not so open-minded that you allow absolute garbage in to fill your thoughts. Filter out what's toxic, and absorb what's good.

It can be hard to start off on your path of not caring what others think and finding the balance but remember this: your identity does not lie in what others think of you. It doesn't even lie in what you think of yourself. Sometimes we can be our own biggest critics, beating ourselves down with our own negative thoughts. Just remember that there is someone out there who loves you dearly, fully, unconditionally. Someone who thinks you are beautifully and wonderfully made, despite any shortcomings. Someone who would never turn their back on you. THAT is the opinion you need to listen to because that is the one that holds truth.

If you need a jump start on moving past others' thoughts, start little. Wear an outfit in public that you typically are afraid to wear. Try out for a lead in the school musical, even if you don't think you have the best singing voice. Approach someone you don't know but want to know and strike up a conversation. Say the thing you would normally keep to yourself. Get out and dance. Remind yourself the next time a rumor starts that anyone who truly matters will know who you are and that that isn't the truth, so the rest is irrelevant. Be confident. Be crazy. Be quiet. Be smart. Be your best every single day, and be the person who makes you feel content. Every once in a while step out of your comfort zone a little bit and explore, but remember that who you are at the core doesn't have to change to fit a new place. You don't have to change your mold to fit somewhere new. Just expand yourself into that area.

There will always be plenty of room for you to just be in multiple places, but there will never be multiple yous.

Set yourself free from the chains of worry and fear and just BE.