As human beings, we are programmed to care what people think about us. When we are criticized, it affects us no matter how much we try to convince ourselves that it doesn't. It affects our self-image, it affects our confidence, and most importantly, it affects our happiness. It can be as simple as receiving a lower-than-expected grade on something you worked really hard on, or as extreme as being bullied. Criticism comes in all shapes and sizes, but all of its forms have the potential to leave us feeling less-than, so to speak.

After dealing with this myself for 19 years of my life, I decided I was done allowing other people's definitions of me to influence my definition of myself. When I made this conscious decision, it became a goal. Because of that, I worked towards it, and ultimately came out on the other side a happier, more confident person.

Now, in no way is it easy to simply stop caring. In fact, I'm not even really sure if it's possible to actually, entirely stop caring what others think of us. It is, however, possible to stop letting those opinions get to you so much. For me, it wasn't so much specific comments or criticism I was getting as much as it was pressure I felt to uphold an image of sorts, or pressure to meet an image. Especially in an age where social media is so prominent, it is extremely difficult to constantly be bombarded with pictures of people who look... perfect... at all times without putting some kind of pressure on yourself or feeling like society is putting pressure on you. In order to break this cycle, I learned the importance of embracing myself as I am.

When you start taking yourself as is instead of looking in the mirror and seeing only the parts of you you wish were different, you build a strong bond with yourself, as strange as that might sound. I've come to believe that the stronger your relationship is with yourself, the weaker your relationship with comparison will become. As you get more and more comfortable with who and what you are, you will feel less of that force telling you how you should look and act.

Of course, if you are working towards a healthy goal in terms of appearance, by all means, continue what you're doing. This is more geared towards people like me who spend too much time comparing themselves and feeling like they need to change in order to be seen in a better way by society.

Realistically, no one actually cares as much as you think they do, and by that I mean nobody cares about the way you look or dress or do your hair or whatever as much as you think they do. No one is paying that much attention, and nobody is going to walk up to you and say "Really, you chose to look like that today?" regardless of how you might be feeling.

And if anyone does say things like that to you, that's a bad reflection of them, not you.

When friends have come to me with self-esteem or body image issues, I usually start with the same piece of advice: unfollow accounts that make you feel bad about yourself or send you into a toxic cycle of comparison.

I know, horrifying. But I mean it. I know the thought of unfollowing your "inspirations" might be a little daunting, but really, really,, think about whether or not you are using these people as motivation towards achieving a healthy goal, or simply as sources of comparison that make you feel inferior and unattractive. You might be surprised at your answer.

Additionally, it is so, so important to understand that a picture is simply a picture. With so many apps and programs that allow you to alter a photo in any way you want to, it is nearly impossible to look at a photo that someone has posted and be 100% sure that it is completely unchanged. Even further, someone who is posting photos of their toned abs or legs could very well just be... flexing.

*gasp* I know. The F word.

Think about it, though. When you look at yourself and want to feel good, do you stand there slouching and letting everything... hang? Or do you suck in a little bit, flex a little bit, and revel? Be real.

The same way that you might stand a certain way or pose a certain way when you're looking in the mirror or taking a mirror selfie or whatever you may be doing, many people posting photos on Instagram are doing the same thing, and thus probably don't look exactly the same way in real life that they do on their social media.

Beyond that, contrary to popular belief, social media influencers actually do bloat just like all normal people. While you are chastising yourself for being bloated, your favorite influencers could very well be dealing with bloated tummies of their own. Just because they have a few hundred thousand followers doesn't mean their bodies don't function like the rest of us.

As soon as I learned to accept these things and keep them in mind, I learned to start accepting myself.

When you start waking up in the morning choosing to wear what makes you feel good, rather than what you think everyone else will like best, you are making a conscious decision to choose yourself.

When you start appreciating your best qualities and ignoring what you see as physical flaws, you are choosing yourself.

When you start focusing on the positives, accepting yourself as human and acknowledging that you are the only person who gets to dictate your appearance, you are choosing yourself.

You are choosing happiness, and you are choosing to find comfort in who you are.

You have been living in your body for x number of years.

It's about time you learned to call it home, don't you think?